December 2016 Archives

Borderlands 2 Psycho Bandit Makeup

December 31, 2016 No Comments

The thing about making promises is, I have difficulties keeping them if they’re not in a professional setting. There’s a 25% chance that I’d break it, and a 75% chance I’d keep it (but it would take forever e.g. “Oo men pramis naedit ko na resume mo, nakakalimutan ko lang isend. Mamaya isesend ko na…wait seryoso you have a job already??”) SO I’m very happy that I finally got to do this look because I did promise myself that I’d do the Psycho look before the year ends so yey meeee!

Just to be clear, this post won’t include a tutorial. I swear to God it’s gonna take me forever to write one because the entire process is THAT time-consuming. But if you do wish to create this look, you can use madeyewlook’s video tutorial because: she’s awesome, she’s my favorite Youtube makeup guru, and yes I have a BLC on her.

This makeup look is a homage to the first FPS game that I enjoyed playing, Borderlands 2, which also happens to be ahmaaahzinggg so of course there was a time when I considered it as the best FPS game ever. I’ve never been much of a gamer when I was younger (I considered gaming as a type of drug; I totally get the appeal and I knew I could get addicted to it given the chance, as seen in the hours I spent playing Civilization 4, Battle Realms and The Sims), so Borderlands 2 was a life-changer. Like, who would’ve thought that games can be violent, witty AND so damn hilarious? (Those 3 are the factors I consider when it comes to entertainment)

“Look into my eyes when I stare at you!” *a few seconds later* “STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!” – the Psycho Bandit, aka Borderlands’ Most Timmeh Character

Why I love Borderlands 2 so much (…that I actually spent hours making myself look like the Psycho Bandit):

The weapons liiiike holy sh*ttttt the weapons. You’d think that their trailer is obnoxious by claiming to have 84 BAZILLION GUNS, but it’s easy to believe that claim once you start playing. See, there are over 17,750,000 different variations of weapons in Borderlands, so it’s safe to assume that Borderlands 2 has a whooole lot more. Guns that you can throw like grenades once your ammo runs out? Shotguns that leave heart-shaped patterns, perfect for sadistic b*tches? Guns that offer different elemental damages (fire, shock, explosive, & corrosive) and rare guns that are color-coded (aka the only time I’d choose the color orange over green)? Borderlands 2 is every triggerhappy bastard’s dream come true. It also made me less judgmental as a person, since after playing it, I finally understood why people would spend 30+ hours farming for weapons in a game they’ve already finished while disregarding their personal hygiene in the process (e.g. erasing their month-old cracked pedicure or Veet-ing the Amazon forest that is their leg hair). NOT that I know someone who’s done that, of course.
The story. If Mad Max and Riddick had unprotected sexy times which resulted to a baby, and that baby developed a sexy pair of feet, and that baby’s sexy feet inspired Tarantino to create a movie, and that movie was exploited to oblivion which later resulted to a video game, Borderlands 2 would be it. Sure, the main story is meh (though there are some onion-chopping parts) and some of its side missions are cliché af (e.g. bodyguarding useless NPCs, going on pointless Fedex errands, etc.)…but it’s supposed to be a no-brainer. And the violence, the gore and the humor of this no-brainer are enough to keep me feeling satisfied and light-hearted every time I play it. Besides, Borderlands 2’s biggest strength are…
The characters. Borderlands 2 is very character-driven. I’m really impressed with how they wrote the dialogue, how they created the characters’ personalities, and how the voice actors brought those characters to life. I can’t remember another game that made me: laugh (from the Psycho Bandit’s very random war cries, Tiny Tina’s dark sense of humor, to discovering the name of Handsome Jack’s diamond pony), feel like I’m smart (after noticing how the Psycho was reciting a soliloquy from Hamlet), and even cry (Bastaaaa.)
The easter eggs. As a nosy and picky person, I can be overly-critical when it comes to the small details…so I was happy to discover that my two of my negative traits in real life paid off with the easter eggs in Borderlands 2: Moxxi’s dirty photos, Roland’s Facebook at the HQ, Minecraft Creepers and the TMNJT gang. Oh and they also made a rare item-giving NPC after a late Borderlands fan that you can encounter in Sanctuary so awww the feelz…
The multiplayer option. I like how you can play Borderlands 2 with 3 of your friends online, or in a Mountain Dew-fueled LAN party in your basement. I can honestly say that it’s a good bonding experience—so good that you might end up playing it for 6 straight hours after a long day at work, disregarding the fact that you have an out-of-town trip with your friends at 6 in the morning. My friends thought that I was a selfless candidate for the Outstanding Gerlpren of 2013 Award, when the truth is, I was equally addicted…because you know, not even a bouquet of flowers can give you the happiness you feel when your co-player allows you to have the orange loot you both had your eyes on. So yeah, play Borderlands 2 if you want a fun experience. But if you want to plant the seed that will later end your relationship, play Portal 2 instead (“I know I knooow stop telling me what to do I just have laggy 3^rd world internet! F*ck!!!!!!”). Pramis.

As of December 31, 2016, you can purchase Borderlands 2 for only Php124.98 at Steam. 🙂

Makeup, Ramblings

My 2016 Christmas Card

December 25, 2016 No Comments

I have to admit, I never really liked-liked Christmas.

In fact I’d always pick Halloween over Christmas, because at least that’s a holiday that doesn’t remind me of my long distance relationships with my loved ones and the untimely losses that happened during the Christmas season.

View post on imgur.com

But of course as I grew up, I learned how to cope with Christmas without being too angsty. I learned how to be happy for other people. I’m not THAT selfish you know, medyo lang. Besides, the season DOES offer lots of distractions and bonuses, so I can’t really complain.

I’m not a huge fan of the traditional Filipino Christmas that if I had to choose, Christmas 2013 is still the best one so far, since I got to embrace my inner Grinch by spending it in Ho Chi Minh City. It was intimate, it was laidback, I got to inhale an entire plate of baby back ribs before over-indulging in Red Saigons out on the sidewalk, giggling and people-watching.

The Christmases that followed weren’t as delightful. But I knew better than being the Sad Bridget;

I chose to be the Fun Bridget (aka that chick from Reddit who’s famous for her hilarious Christmas cards) for sh*ts and giggles.

Exhibit A:

Christmas 2014

Christmas 2015

Christmas 2016

This year is different.

I’m no longer taking the Fun Bridget route.

First because that’s not me anymore.

Second because I can never beat Fun Bridget, and it makes me feel guilty if people think I’m THAT hilarious medyo lang since I’m clearly just copying her Christmas card antics.

Third because I’d like to think that I are serious person now.

And serious people know better than waste their time doing sad-funny photo-ops.

Serious people spend their time doing what they love.

So,

as a serious person,

I’m seriously wishing

you

and

your family

Makeup

For Zsaris: Alangan-inspired Makeup Look

December 24, 2016 No Comments

(Warning: Long-ass post ahead since this is about Charet AND the makeup look inspired by her song. What can I say, I’m a grateful fan, for she encouraged me to finally invest time pursuing the things that make me happy)

It’s easy for me to write about myself since I’ve had enough practice, thanks to my 4^th grade diaries filled with fantasies about Nick Carter and Tuxedo Mask. But when it involves writing about someone I care about, I feel lost for words. I’ve done this makeup look more than a month ago, but I’ve been delaying the writing part since it’s supposed to be a #FanAhrt for my rakstar friend, Zsaris (aka “Charet” for Elbi pips). But I’m running out of time since I already have a few materials set to be posted so screw it, I’ll try my best and just hope Charet would forgive me for my TMI ramblings.

Why Charet

Charet is special because she’s talented, perky, smart, perky, charismatic, AND DID I SAY PERKY? To be honest I never thought that she’d be my friend, since I’m an introvert and she got me in trouble on the day that we first met (by chatting me up in the middle of our entrance exam at the Hogwarts-like exclusive art school up in Mt. Makiling). We were high school freshmen when we met for the second time…and I still didn’t feel comfortable being around her perky self. How could I, when she served as the choreographer of our entire class who forced us to dance to S Club 7’s Bring It All Back for our mandatory Acquaintance Party performance?! (Diyos na mahabagin salamat po’t wala pang smartphones noon Lord God tenkyuuu)

Then I realized what a good friend Charet is when she started playing football for our high school Intramurals. Yes she’s perky pero hindi sya nakakapagod kasama na tipong ang sarap nang sipain sa mukha.

Then we took up the same course in UPLB (where she later graduated with honors!)

Then I found myself tagging along to their band practices so she can teach me how to play the drums. And as a true friend (who just discovered the wonders of Adobe Photoshop), I shamelessly attended one of their gigs carrying a reaaaally “cool” band poster (using Cocaine Sans for the font style of course!!!) that probably made others think “F.A.T. (Friday At Tristan’s)” was the dollar bin Linkin Park of UPLB. #EdgyEvahSince

Then she became my recruit for our college writing org.

So yeah, that’s the Charet that I know—she can dance, she can excel academically, she can play various instruments, she can play sports, she can write…she just can. The fact that we can still call her “Charet” even when her fellow artists and her fans know her as “Z” or “Zsaris”, is what makes everyone I know shamelessly flaunt the #CharetPride even more. She’s still as sweet and as Elbi as a heart-shaped Mernel’s chocolate cake (one without the yema filling para hindi nakakasuya but to each his own). We may not have played major roles in her triumphs, but we’ve been her fans even in her struggling years, for she’s “Do What You Love And Success Will Follow” personified. No Pinterest board filled with hundreds of overly-filtered inspirational crap will ever come close.

So it wasn’t surprising for us to finally see Charet bulldoze her way to the success she rightfully deserves—from winning the 2015 Mossimo Music Summit as a one-woman band, proving to everyone that she’s the gold-winning, looping queen in an international contest, being a part of the award-winning a capella group Pinopela that starred in a Christmas ad, to releasing her own album.

Why This Makeup Look

Last November, Charet released her original song Alangan on Spotify. Being the nosy friend, I just had to ask her what the song is all about.

So…it’s about someone stupid who realized how much he/she has screwed up after all?

Stupid, screwed up…my three favorite words. Save me a seat because DIS GON B EASY.

Of course I had to press her further since it’s her song and I wanted to, you know, make sure that I can give justice to it by enhancing or fake-mutilating my face with makeup properly.

I guess I can compare the feeling to something as mild as how this loser feels?

As much as I’d love to do something gruesome for my Alangan makeup look, I don’t have the right sfx makeup skills (and materials) for the job. And I’m not gonna shoot my head #ForAhrtsSake or for my love for Charet…

*♫ Ngayon ko lang naramdaman, Bakit ngayon lang? Ganito pala ang pakiramdam ♫*

…so I went with a look that makes me appear “as if” I’m a stone-cold b*tch with a hard facade, but the truth is, there’s a warm-blooded, sensitive and feelz-feeling girl inside. Yak.

What I did:

Start with a clean face. Don’t take Charet’s song seriously during the entire process because tears will not work well with your water-activated facepaint (like Snazaroo).
Choose which facial feature to use for the Wuss Sensitive You. I chose to leave my left eye facepaint-free to signify that I’ve started seeing the truth that I’m not always right (Bullsh*t lol I just struggle when it comes to sticking a lens up my left eye). Trace an outline using NYX Retractable White Liner so you can easily avoid facepainting this area.
Accept that life is full of grey areas because you’re not Michael Jackson, so embrace the grey and cover the rest of your b*tch face with grey facepaint.
Use a big fluffy brush and dip it into a metallic grey eyeshadow that’ll serve as your setting powder for the areas of your b*tch face, like bareMinerals Mineral Eyeshadow in 1980’s.
Embrace your ilusyonada ways by creating the illusion of sharper cheekbones and a more prominent nose bridge by contouring with a matte black eyeshadow like Urban Decay’s Blackout. This way your face won’t look as flat as your heart after you had those foolish feelings huhubelz.
Nobody likes a flawless b*tch, so since your shiny grey skin can give Venus de Milo a run for her money, be like The Narrator and wreck it up by using a black liquid eyeliner for the cracks. In this case I used black facepaint so it’ll be easier for me to erase mistakes.
Make the cracks look more realistic by adding highlights along the sides using a thin brush dipped in white facepaint. You can even give your face a more “concrete” texture by lightly spraying your face with an old toothbrush dipped in diluted white facepaint for the white specks.
For your right eye, you can use the same matte black eyeshadow you used for contouring to fill in your right eyebrow, and dab a shimmery grey-brown eyeshadow (like Urban Decay’s Mushroom) on your crease and lower lashline.
For your left eye, fill in your left eyebrow with K-Palette Tattoo Real Lasting Eyebrow Liner in 01-Natural Brown, and create a brown-green smokey eye using: a shimmery cream eyeshadow (like Lorac Pro’s Nude) along your browbone, matte brown eyeshadows (like Lorac Pro’s Taupe & Sable) for the transition color along your crease and lower lashline, and a bright green eyeshadow (like Urban Decay Lightyears over Urban Decay Indo) on your lid.
Tightline both eyes with Nyx Retractable Black Liner. At this point I was starting to get tired. I obviously did a horrible blending job on my left eye makeup soo I just settled on drawing two different eyeliner wing shapes ~~weh di mo lang napantay~~ (done with my Benefit They’re Real Push-up Liner) and wearing a grey contact lens on my right eye to emphasize the contrast between Sensitive Me and B*tch Me. 5/6 of my entire face is covered in a mixture of gray facepaint and silver eyeshadow—what more do you want from me?! Oo na ako na yung walang follow through ako na lang lagiii anong gusto mo umiyak ako ng dugo?
Umiyak ka ng dugo by letting fake blood drip down your left eye.
Have fun with your makeup look while you can because clean-up’s gonna be a b*tch. Make sure you don’t leave silver stains on your bathroom fixtures that’ll make your housemates assume you finally invited a guest but you were too scared for proper introductions because it’s the creepy, panhandling mime from the mall.

Nails

My Christmas Nails

December 23, 2016 No Comments

For those who have seen my Christmas nails four years ago, this is going to feel like a throwback, because this is how I designed my nails then. But since I DID say that this blog is going to feature some of my nail art designs, I’ve decided to just do it again. I know I’m more into makeup now, but I couldn’t just let this ridiculous haul of 2012 buyer’s remorse go to waste now, could I?

So yeah I used to have an intense nail art addiction because I was an inggeterang lurker of /r/redditlaqueristas. It even came to a point when I had to create a Google Sheets file to better catalogue my nail polish collection–that level of cray. But that had to stop because I ran out of THE holy grail that is Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat (which, unfortunately, isn’t available in local department stores). Without it (and its ability to set and dry your nail color in less than a minute), then even the simple act of painting my nails becomes such a boring chore…

…and doing nail art is absolutely out of the question. I don’t want to risk getting UTI just because I don’t want to destroy my wet nails while unbuttoning my jeans during peepee time yo.

So these are the things I used:

(L-R) Seche Vite Base Coat, Revlon’s Posh, Revlon’s Sassy, Caronia’s Chasse, Revlon’s Radiance, a beauty sponge, Orly’s Luxe, Sinful Colors’ Gogo Girl, an unnamed, cream-colored Elf nail polish, China Glaze’s White on White, Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat, decorative green and red nail tapes, acrylic paint set (for the details), dotting tools and nail gems.

Prep your nails with Seche Vite Base Coat, before applying the base colors: a light green color like Revlon’s Sassy for the thumbnail, A thin coat of blue like Caronia’s Chasse (and then applying a glittery polish like Revlon’s Radiance over it with a sponge) for the index finger nail, a metallic gold color like Orly’s Luxe for the middle finger nail, a cream color for the ring finger nail and white like China Glaze’s White on White for the pinky nail.
Use a bit of painter’s tape to trace the outline of the Christmas tree on your thumb nail, and Santa’s red hat on your ring finger. Your pinky’s candy cane nail design is done with just a bit of carefully-placed metallic red and green nail tapes hehhh
Apply a layer of green nail polish like Revlon’s Posh on your thumbnail and a layer of red nail polish like Sinful Colors’ Gogo Girl on your ring finger nail.
Using dotting tools (or toothpicks), add the details using your white nail polish and different colors of acrylic paint (because acrylic paint is a looot more pigmented for small details PLUS it’s water-based). For the thumb nail: the red, yellow and blue acrylic paints for the Christmas light dots. Set a small nail gem at the tip of your Xmas tree using a clear nail polish. For the index finger: black acrylic paint for the snowman’s hat, eyes and arms and orange acrylic paint for the snowman’s nose applied over two blobs of white nail polish for the snowman’s body. For the middle finger nail: streaks of green acrylic paint for the mistletoe leaves and dots of red acrylic paint for the berries. For the ring finger: two messy-looking strips of white acrylic paint for santa’s hair and beard, black acrylic paint for Santa’s eyes, and pink acrylic paint for Santa’s mouth.
Carefully apply a generous layer of Seche Vite Dry Fast Topcoat over each nail. Feel confident with the idea that you can pick your nose soon because your top coat will dry and set your nails pronto.

Makeup

Bullet In The Temperamental Brat’s Head makeup

December 4, 2016 No Comments

I was planning to update this blog with a new material every 7 days so I won’t have to worry about running out of content. But I’m posting this now anyway, 4 days after my last post, since it’s uso naman to make an exception for every rule. Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?

As I’ve mentioned before, I learn my makeup looks from Youtube tutorials. But I feel inspired to ACTUALLY try a makeup look while I’m listening to music—like, a certain line comes up and yun, instant moment of eureka! (e.g. ♫…wasak na naman sa pag-ibig, wasak na wasak…♫ “AHH…!! Kunwari kaya basagin ko mukha ko parang yung sa Youtube?”)

Eh for the past few days, I found myself listening to Rage Against the Machine. And people who know me well are aware that I gravitate towards RATM (and AC/DC) whenever I’m just a few buttons away from exploding into a teary-eyed, passive-aggressive, heavy-breathing, stuttering mess. I guess there’s just something comforting about mouthing the words to Highway To Hell or Bullet In The Head…and for an onlooker who can see me raging mutely with my earphones, I’d look like a formidable freak…

…kinda like how the slow loris would bathe itself with a mixture of saliva and the toxin released from its armpits as a signal to keep its enemies away OR ELSE.

But I digress. Long story short, I’ve been angry for the past few days so I’ve been listening to RATM and one song inspired me to do this makeup look. I won’t discuss it (…and its meaning and how it’s relevant nowadays) any further because this is supposed to be my makeup blog and I don’t want to taint it with my anger. At least, I’ll really, really try!

Here’s what I did to create the Bullet in the Head look:

#TheySayJumpYouSayHowHigh #TheySayMoveOnYouSayOkay

To create the shape of the bullet hole, roll a bit of paper twine (or twisted tissue paper) around your Sharpie. Secure the ends together with glue. Feel ashamed for wondering whether the people who make those cardboard signs for murdered drug users (aka Mga Nanlaban) are Team Pentel or Team Sharpie. Di ka na nga maka-move on, morbid ka pa. Giiirl.
Realize you can’t apply your liquid foundation yet, since you’ll need a clean face for the bullet hole to adhere to your skin completely. So while waiting for your paper mache’d bullet hole ring to dry, you can start filling in your eyebrows with a brow mascara (Nichido Tinted Brow Gel in Ash Blonde). You can further sharpen and define its shape with an eyebrow pen (K-Palette Tattoo Real Lasting Eyebrow Liner in 01-Natural Brown).
I didn’t want to go overboard with the eye makeup or else I’ll run out of damns to give for the bullet hole effect later. So after rubbing a bit of eyeshadow primer (Lorac Behind The Scenes Eye Primer) on my lids, I went with a simple smokey eye makeup using three colors from my Lorac Pro Palette: Nude for the browbone and the inner eye corner, Taupe on my lids, and Espresso for the crease and along my lower lash line.
I wanted my eyes to mirror the souls of those forcing me to forgive and forget SO I generously lined my upper and lower waterlines with NYX Retractable Black Liner, winged dem eyes with K-Palette Real Lasting Black Eyeliner, and thickened my lashes until kasing kapal na sila ng mukha ng mga with Benefit They’re Real Tinted Primer & Benefit Roller Lash Mascara.
By this time the bullet hole has dried up into a perfect circle, so you can now stick it to your forehead using the sturdiest eyelash glue in your stash (for me it’s Nichido Eyelash Adhesive). Place it where an actual bullet would’ve entered your head if your smart-ass self happened to be born in a different decade. Secure the hole by covering it with small bits of tissue (drenched in Elmer’s Glue) .
Then hit the books. Lie on your bed with a heavy book weighing the paper mache’d bullet hole ring down to your forehead, and think about how lucky you are to be alive.
Once the bullet hole ring is stuck perfectly to your forehead, you can now cover your entire face with liquid foundation (like L’Oreal Infallible Liquid Foundation), adding more coverage to the bullet hole so it can look like real skin. The good thing about doing your eye makeup prior to your foundation application is you can easily clean up the eyeshadow fallout on your cheeks.
Add the details by dabbing brown and red eyeshadow around the hole for a slight bruising effect, coloring its inside with a black eyeliner to give it depth and filling the hole with fake blood until it drips down your face.
Finish your look by using a metallic copper brown lipstick on your lips (like Urban Decay Lipstick in Conspiracy haha) to make them so irresistible, kisses will be plundered.
Take a selfie, you temperamental brat. #3edgy5u