Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard about the latest DRAMUH concerning the BGC community cats, particularly those that have been living in the ever-so-fancy, Two Serendra. Actually, you might’ve forgotten it already, since this has been going on for almost two months now and the management probably feels that it is beneath them to respond (unlike a Filipino senator who had the initiative to release this I-was-a-dog-lover-but-now-I-love-jail-cats-shame-on-you statement but nah let’s not get political shall we?) I’ll let this article clue you in so I can just focus on sharing a step-by-step guide for this SFX makeup look. I’ll reaaally try to just focus on my makeup. I’ll try.

What I did:

1. For the face, I used Urban Decay’s Optical Illusion Complexion Primer. It’s supposed to make your skin look flawless and perfect—an optical illusion like the beauty of Two Serendra because underneath the fancy, expat-friendly facade (“Oh sh*t, that place is brimming with expats? That must be such a 1^st world haven in our 3^rd world nation!”–says every clueless Juan) is a management which, unfortunately, has money that couldn’t buy them class nor the animal welfare awareness of 1^st world nations. What a haven indeed!
2. Then I used a makeup sponge to apply Maybelline’s Fit Me Liquid Foundation in Natural Beige, which resonates with what I imagine to be the Serendra management’s thought process in dealing with the community cats. “Hmmm we better set a rule that forces our residents to pay P10,000 ($185) for feeding those cats…and the retail area should probably set up a DO NOT FEED THE CATS sign so we can join High Street’s kitty bandwagon regardless if, unlike High Street, we haven’t set up a proper feeding program with the ever-willing volunteers…I mean, these cats are sooo cheap, always lounging and flaunting their bellies for the rays of sunlight that should be exclusive to us Serendra folks…Santo Dios, they don’t even have the right breed for our brand of lifestyle!  So yeah, let’s make this money-grubbing penalty happen because it’s never gonna apply to me…it fits me.” #LongBuildupIsLong
3. Then I used Maybelline Liquid Concealer in Medium to cover my eyebags which can probably compete with the eyebags of the cat-loving, Two Serendra residents—you get caught feeding the cats and that’s $185 down the drain, hostile treatment optional. Who could sleep in peace at night?!
4. TIME FOR CONTOURING, BLUSH & HIGHLIGHTING! I used two products for this step. First is Sleek’s Face Contour Kit, which includes a powdered blush (which can give your cheeks a rosy effect, just like Serendra’s attempt to make things look cute and rosy lol hashtag “Fluffies of Serendra” nga daw check ittt) and a brown powder contour (that you’ll use to make your cheeks and nose look slimmer and more defined, kinda like the bone structure of the Serendra cats if they starve to death). Then of course I’m not going to forget my favorite creamy highlighter of all time which can brighten up your cheekbones, browbone, and your cupid’s bow: Benefit watts up…so, what’s up Serendra? Any updates? Since, you know, it’s been weeks and you haven’t responded to the invitations nor sent a representative to (wo)man up and digest all of the efforts of the people who are WILLING to create a humane Trap-Neuter-Vaccinate-Return (TNVR) Program for the Serendra cats—with no funding or labor needed from y’all whatsoever. They are offering solutions that can keep the Serendra cat population healthy and stable so you won’t have to experience the Vaccuum Effect. Watts up???
5. To shape and define my eyebrows that seem to be perpetually raised thanks to Serendra’s haughty lack of action, I used the no-fuss, Nichido Browmaster in Gingerbread.
6. For my simple smoky eyeshadow, I used Bootycall (browbone & lower inner corner my eyes), Chopper (lids) & Tease (crease) from the Naked 2 palette of Urban Decay. Urban Decay…Urban Decay!!! Hahahaha I don’t even need to write this joke anymore. #BestOfLuckWithYourRatInfestation
7. I used two different eyeliners, both as black as the hearts of the cat haters of Serendra: Nyx Retractable Eyeliner for my lower waterline, and Lifeford Hi-Precise Eye Pen for the obligatory cat eyeliner look.
8. And now, for the grated skin (recreated from @rubymediamakeup) that resembles an exaggerated cat scratch aka The Most Overused Argument As To Why We Should Just Eliminate The Serendra Cats Year After Year When Eliminating The TNVR’d Cats Will Attract New Unvaccinated Ferals To Claim The Territory Who Are More Likely To Scratch Or Bite Unsupervised Children So It’s Like One Expensive Roofie Circle: I applied a thick layer of Graftobian Modeling Wax all over my cheek, carefully brushed a bit of setting powder & blush powder over it to make it stay put and look infected, dragged the tip of my gel eyeliner brush on the surface of the waxed area to create the 3D wound effects, filled those strips with the brown facepaint from my Flash palette, and dabbed Graftobian Blood Paste on the brown strips. Graftobian modeling wax is too sticky to be molded so I just rolled strips of my DIY scar wax (discussed here) for the strips of skin on the bloody cheese grater.
9. Last but definitely not the least, I used my newest favorite liquid lipstick (that says A LOT because unlike the 2016 Timmi, I am done hoarding lipsticks after I found my favorite formula of #MyLipsButBetter shade with Sleek) which is the perfect choice for this look: it is Vice Cosmetics’ Phenomenal Liquid Lipstick (AND! It’s only Php195! AND!  I bought it with a 10% discount! AND! Vice Cosmetics donated a portion of sales to CARA Welfare Philippines!!! AND AND AND! Unlike the Serendra management, IT’S PETA-CERTIFIED CRUELTY-FREE! ) The name of this lippie’s shade? It’s called Ravaaan (colloquial term for “Laban!” which means “Fight!”)…and Ravaaan is what the cat lovers and animal welfare advocates will be doing this coming October 13: a silent protest against animal cruelty, particularly the cruelty to the Serendra cats. Hope to see you there, KaPusa!

P.S.

This post is dedicated to my Sandra who was an abandoned kitten discovered, fostered & spayed by some of Two Serendra’s compassionate residents. See, you Two Serendra hotshots are blessed with people who actually care about a keeping a well-maintained cat population in your vicinity. They’ve been using their own time & resources just to keep those pest-killing cats happy and healthy…but what have you done in return?