ONCE AGAIN I’ve failed this blog by letting an entire month go by without a single post…to think that back in July, I even mentioned having my August & September posts “figured out”. I already knew what to do; I just lost the drive to actually execute my September look. It would’ve involved a photo of myself with a birthday candle sticking out of my forehead like I’m a mutant candyland unicorn accompanied by a cheesy “30 Things I Learned At 30” list…but due to unforeseen circumstances that happened when I was supposed to create it (a week before my BKK trip), huwag na lang!!

So now I’m gonna make up for it by aiming to post a makeup look every freakin week for the entire month of October. First because I don’t want to lose the street cred I’ve gained from friends who remember to tag me whenever they find makeup videos in Facebook (more recall=more raket opportunities).

Second because I need to match my Halloween output last year, which was fueled by my desire to avenge myself from a chicken pox phase and my then-unemployment/free-spirited freelancer days:

Yep, I had five different Halloween makeup looks for 2016. SYET BA’T BA KASE AKO NAG-ADIKKKK

Anyway, this makeup look was obviously inspired by the Marlou-is-now-Xander brouhaha that has taken the internet by storm. I didn’t follow it closely (but I do know that I love the PR people behind that diabolically brilliant move to cover up the…basta. Galing!) because my feelings for Marlou/Xander hasn’t changed. I still don’t like him…as much as I DO NOT like every teenager who does all of those cringey, pa-cute hugot sh*t. Now, I’m not going to pretend that I’m one of those, “Dapat pag-aaral ang inaatupag nyo!” types since I wasn’t exactly the studious type during my teenage years…but I do know that my teenage interests were more injury-prone than soul-crushing. Man, I don’t even know how teenagers do it nowadays—I’m so thankful NOT to be one, in a time when my crazy fits of immaturity can be watched, saved and shared by the mapanghusgang lipunan ng social media.

But as much as I tend to be the judgmental Tita who hates basic teenage cringefest, I can’t help but feel sad for Xander. Here’s a boy who, aside from being more “aesthetically-challenged” & bully-magnet than I was during my elementary years (when I barely had an ounce of self-esteem because I was teased for my fish lips) or during my 2012 Michelin Man metamorphosis, obviously doesn’t know any better. I feel agitated whenever I see him do things that’ll make the internet salivate because he’s like that oblivious victim in a slasher flick—why are you doing this to yourself?!! Better, run run run run, run run run away!!!! (<–Internet high five if you sang that) Not gonna lie, I know beauty is a huuuuge commodity, but to put yourself at the mercy of people who’ll surely tear your self-esteem into pieces just for the chance to be rich and sikat, is both foolish and masochistic. I mean, there are other ways to be rich and famous besides becoming a performing monkey for the public. And it’s even more frustrating to see brainless keyboard warriors (read: those who opt for “Pakamatay ka na” kind of comments like woooow really? You’re really going to wish that another human being kills himself just because you find him ugly and annoying?!) make extra efforts to destroy him even after his transformation sickens me. T*ngina naman, when will this boy get a break? Are we really going to push him until he kills himself?

I don’t care if people go under the knife because at the end of the day, it’s not my face, it’s not my money, and it’s not my life at stake. So if Marlou has chosen the plastic surgery route (which is a sad proof of how much he has suffered), and if we’re really incapable of feeling remorseful for the actions he has taken, the least we can do is leave him the fcuk alone so he can finally be happy.

But anyways. Here are the products I used for my #Retokada makeup look. #LousySegueIsLousy

EYES:

1. Rub a bit of eyeshadow primer (Lorac Behind The Scenes primer) to make the colors pop.
2. Create a smoky eye look with: a glittery blue eyeshadow (Vega from the Urban Decay Moon Dust palette) as the base color of your lids, matte light brown eyeshadow (Taupe from the Lorac Pro palette) as the transition color along the crease, shimmery purple eyeshadow (Flash from the Urban Decay Shadow Box palette) as the second color of your lids, glittery green eyeshadow (Lightyear from the same Moon Dust palette) on the center, and a matte black eyeshadow (Blackout from Urban Decay Naked2 palette).
3. Tightline with NYX retractable black eyeliner.
4. Wing it with Maybelline Hypergloss black liquid eyeliner.
5. Use extra girly falsies with Nichido eyelash glue, set with your naturally short lashes with Benefit They’re Real black mascara.
6. Fill in your brows with Benefit Gimme Brow in 04.

LIPS:

1. I used the most nude color in my stash (NYX Liquid Suede in Soft-spoken)—I don’t have a lot of nude shades because they tend to make my lips look. Even. Bigger.
2. Topped it off with a really shiny, really sticky lip gloss (bare Minerals lip shimmer in Diamond Glaze) to make my lips look plasticky. God, even with the fake burned skin glued to my face, this lip gloss was still the most uncomfortable part of this look for me.

FACE:

1. Line your face with Graftobian liquid latex to make the scar wax (which will serve as the damaged skin) adhere to your skin.
2. I WOULD HAVE used Graftobian modeling scar wax for the damaged skin if it was available when I was looking for it. The good news is, I’ve checked Pure Beauty Glorietta and they’ve got stocks of it now that the Halloween season has started. But if you don’t want to pay P295 for a little pot of scar wax, you can make your own by mixing equal amounts of petroleum jelly, flour and a few drops of your liquid foundation until you feel like you’re 8yo again, trying (and failing) to mold Sailormoon’s head with PlayDoh.
3. Roll bits of scar wax until they look like flesh-colored leeches and stick them to the liquid latex trail you made earlier. Smoothen the scar wax until they start to look as if it’s part of your face…then mangle the outer part to make it appear as if your face was sliced by a rusty pizza cutter while you’re being transported on a bumpy road. Cover your face (and scar wax) with liquid foundation (Revlon PhotoReady Liquid Foundation in Natural Beige).
4. Use an eyeshadow brush to smear fake blood (red food color + hair gel + cocoa powder) on top of your mangled skin. Dab a bit of purple and yellow matte eyeshadow (from the Coastal Scents Creative Me palette) under your eyes for a bruising effect.
5. Finish your look with a gauze scarf wrapped around your head. #GauzeCouture