Makeup

Sunburn SFX Makeup

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OK so I wasn’t planning to use this blog unless it’s time for another round of Halloween posts. But in the weird turn of events last April, I met this stunning kid who filled me with envy. My thought process as I was conversing with her: “OMG I would have my toenails smashed until they’re dead if it means that I can go back to being a carefree 18-year-old with a very exciting social life! At bakit ganon ang haba ng pilik-mata nyaaa?!” Of course I knew that I’m no Avenger who can jump back in time. So I compensated by creating a new makeup project fit for the summer…and also so I can have an excuse to wear falsies and feel youthful again (what, I love it when my eyelashes look like elegant mutant spiders that are casting elegant shadows down my cheeks, fight me). But then, procrastination cat obsession real life happened. And before I knew it, Unang Ulan ng Mayo arrived, so I decided to just shelve the project and delay writing about it until next summer (or until the temperature hits 36.6 Jesus-are-you-kidding-me degrees Celsius again.)

But in an even weirder and completely terrifying turn of events, this week gave us all a glimpse of how hellish the Philippines is going to be for the next three years. And then it hit me: oh shiii my Sunburn SFX makeup project from last April could be my way of expressing my pent-up anger (sa lagay na ‘to may nape-pent-up pa pala), making it the sequel to my Bullet In The Temperamental Brat’s Head SFX Makeup from THREE YEARS AGO! HAHANAPAN KO NA LANG NG TALI!! ANG SAYA-SAYA!!!! /s

So without further ado

♫ I need to get away, GOTTA GET AWAY♫

What I did:

  1. Don’t cry in case you don’t have any idea about what you’ll be doing, or how you’re going to draw the shape of a pair of sunglasses on your face…it’s just simple tracing! Use a white eyeliner (I used NYX retractable white eyeliner) to trace your sunglasses. Just follow wherever that big shady bringer of darkness touches your face…and make sure the shade of your eyeliner isn’t too bright because it’s not as if you’ll need the lines to be visible for better results anyway.
  2. Shape and fill your brows (I used Nichido Browmaster in Gingerbread and Coastal Scents Brow Palette) para ‘di ka mukhang gulat at mas dama ang pagtaas ng kilay mo ‘pag nakikita yung laki ng tax na kinakaltas sayo pero di mo ramdam kung saan ba napupunta.
  3. Draw an inverted triangle/tatsulok under each eye using a concealer (I used Maybelline Liquid Concealer in Medium) so you can cover up the darkness that is your eyebags, tricking people into seeing you as a whole new person–your stance on death penalty and lowering the minimum age for criminal responsibility included.
  4. You can use an eyeshadow primer (like Lorac Behind The Scenes) prior to applying your eyeshadow, but I didn’t because it’s not like I wanted my eye makeup to steal the attention from the rest of my face. Lorac eyeshadow shades used: Gold all over my lids and lower lashline so I can feel as golden as someone who got away from pocketing more than P200 million, and a coal-gray shade like Slate over the crease and outer corners (use as much as you want, it’s not like the environment is more important than pushing for coal-fired power plants!) Blend.
  5. Tightline your upper and lower waterline with a black eyeliner pencil (like NYX retractable white eyeliner), before wingin’ it with a liquid eyeliner (like Lifeford Hi-Precise Eye Pen). Don’t feel pressured if you can’t draw the wings to be sharp as the marksmanship of Leon Guerrero; it’s not as if skills really matter.
  6. Now, my favorite makeup item: FALSIES!!! It doesn’t matter if you were born with inadequate eyelashes; you don’t even need to work hard for them to grow because you can simply FAKE EVERY LITTLE BIT by using a pair of falsies (my personal favorite: Bohktoh BT-02). I swear everyone should try wearing falsies; they’re so empowering, you’d feel as if you can control wherever your eyes land on: a student activist who was tortured to death after humiliating you during an open forum, your daddy so he can cancel PAL flights and order their planes to transport your breastmilk back to your son while you frolic abroad…or you can even make the majority voters forget the decades of atrocities caused by your family and actually vote you back into power, konting kindat lang ang katapat. So nice noh.
  7. Forget all the expensive pink lipsticks in your stash. Rather, use the pink facepaint from your Flash palette for a really girly lip color. Before you say “eww!” at the idea of painting your lips with face freakin paint, remember, you’re one of the boys so you shouldn’t be maselan for Federalism like that. Isn’t it so convenient how visually, the facepaint can pass-off as a legit lipstick, when, unlike lipsticks, it’s not really formulated to keep lips nourished? But hey at least you’re fit AND good-looking so people can’t see your inner Umbridge…
  8. Now that you’re done with the lips and the eye area, Select Inverse and slather a thick amount of Elmer’s transparent (!) glue all over your face. Once that transparent (!) layer dries, cover it with an orangey red facepaint. Don’t be scared to really bring out the redness because that’s how your skin responds to sun damage–it really causes extra redness to be splattered across the streets in the capillaries. And once the facepaint dries, pinch and poke random areas in your glue mask with a tweezer so you can make it appear as if your burned skin’s falling off like those who are too poor to defend themselves are falling off the face of the earth.
  9. Place a bottle of Graftobian F/X Gelatin in a hot waters bath until the gelatin’s fluid enough to be squeezed out (and mixed with a bit of brownish-yellow facepaint). Then pretend like you’re a masochistic cake decorator who’s in love with a cannibal and decorate your face with blobs of gelatin for the blister burns. On your nose, on your cheek, and don’t ever forget to take advantage of your fivehead’s surface area, so that at first glance, the blister burn will look like iniputan ka lang sa ulo ng mga manok na may cancer.
  10. Congrats! You’ve made it! Celebrate by doing what you do best: take a selfie, but don’t smile too hard, since you still need to appear like the lapdog humble hero who’s #shookt for winning even if hundreds of millions of pesos were spent for your campaign ads. 
  11.  Pray to all the gods that your third instalment three years from now won’t be as gory and passive-aggressive as the ones from 2016 and 2019; wonder if you’ll still be around when the time comes.

 

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Makeup

Cog In The Machine SFX Makeup

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So, this is my seventh (and last!) Halloween makeup look for 2018. While it’s not as elaborate and excruciatingly detailed as my final Halloween makeup look last year, I’m still pleased with how this turned out (…and how my face turned out because maaan the placement of those cogs contoured the heck out of my big cheeks!!). After all, I’ve been wanting to create a steampunk makeup look for aaaages…or at least after I became fixated with BioShock Infinite!

I’ve thought about making myself look like Elizabeth…

…but that only involved wearing my eyebrows thin and painting my lips red (because I sure as hell kennaaaat venture into the cosplay territory, given my sewing skills!) Not very groundbreaking makeup-wise, no? I could’ve made fake wounds as if someone aimed a Skyhook on my face…but how many times will my face get scratched, really?! Painting cogs on my face was not an option either, since I’m the type who can’t draw a symmetrical flower on the first try…so, I just let my steampunk makeup idea stew inside my head…for years…until my Shopee addiction (and my newfound, I-wanna-buy-a-casting-kit-so-I-can-mold-my-face-and-make-it-easier-for-me-to-do-DIY-prosthetics obsession) recently led me to this super sweet online shop that sells teeny tiny metal cogs and aaaall the glitters I can use for a unicorn makeup look (once I’ve molded the perfect horn that is). Oh, it is so ON.

I’m just another cog in the machine. With a stiff neck.

What I did…

…for the face:

  1. I prepped my face with Urban Decay’s Optical Illusion Complexion Primer, then applied Maybelline’s Fit Me Liquid Foundation in Natural Beige with a damp beauty sponge, then drew inverted triangles under my eyes with  Maybelline Liquid Concealer in Medium. Bleeeend. Then I dusted a bit of bareMinerals Mineral Veil Finishing Powder to really make my skin seem poreless as hell.
  2. I didn’t go crazy with the contouring since my cheeks will be covered with bloody junk anyway so I just defined my nose with the lighter brown shade from Fashion 21’s Contour Kit. But I did try adding a hint of pink to my cheeks (Gloss Skin and Beyond’s lip & cheek tint in Sangria) just so my skin won’t look too one-dimensional since hey, I’m not a mestiza who flushes pink naturally lol. Highlighting game is still extra af with Sleek’s Highlighting Palette in Precious Metals over Benefit’s watts up highlighter used on my nose, browbone, and cupid’s bow.

…for the eyes:

  1. I shaped and groomed and filled my brows with Nichido Browmaster in Gingerbread and Coastal Scents Brow Palette. Then I defined it further by dabbing liquid concealer around my brows. Bleeend.
  2. For the eyeshadow, I started with bareMinerals cream eyeshadow in Soft Shell as the primer because it already has that rosy shade. Then I dabbed Garnet (a shimmery rose-gold shade) all over my lids (and lower lashline), Deep Purple (a shimmery purple-gray shade) over the crease, and Gold on the center of my lids–all from the Lorac Pro Palette.
  3.  I tightlined using a black NYX Retractable Eyeliner, created a winged eye using LifeFord Hi-Precise Eye Pen, and finished that off with #BT03 Bohktoh falsies that I applied using my favorite Nichido eyelash glue.

…for the lips:

This was a trial-and-error thing. First I applied Urban Decay’s Blackmail lipstick, which is a reaaaally reaaaaaaally dark purple shade that made me look like a Linkin Park-listening emo kid. So I pressed my lips on a tissue paper to remove some of its color (some of it anyway since Urban Decay matte lipsticks are dry as hell) then layered my darkened lips with a creamier and redder lipstick (Loreal’s Pure Brick). I was satisfied with the shade I created but I wanted my lips to look more bronze-y so I carefully dabbed a gold lipstick (Loreal’s Pure Gold) on the center of my lips.

…for the cheeks:

PROTIP: If you want to hide your chubby cheeks, stick some bloody junk all over them. #ExtremeContouring
  1. I drew the curvy rectangles on my cheeks using a white NYX Retractable Eyeliner (because it’s easier to erase and blend out the mistake if you’re using white).
  2. I filled the curvy rectangles with a layer of tissue paper, applied with Graftobian Liquid Latex (because the cogs will stick better to the tissue than your actual skin).
  3. Once the liquid latex is dry, I painted the tissue papered layer with black Snazaroo facepaint. And once the black facepaint has set, I dusted a bit of metallic orange, metallic brown, and metallic green eyeshadow shades from the Coastal Scents Creative Me #2 palette so that area won’t just look flat and black.
  4. I hurt my neck while trying to arrange and stick the metal cogs with more Graftobian liquid latex…oh and if you’re missing a Family Mart retractable pen, please let me know so I can replace it since I also stuck the pen’s spring on my face lel
  5. Then I carefully highlighted the border of the curved rectangles with the white eyeliner so they will look more three dimensional.
  6. I finished the look by dabbing Graftobian Blood Paste on the cogs, and letting Graftobian Blood Gel drip from my cheeks.

 

 

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Makeup

Under Pressure SFX Makeup

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I’ve finally done my 6th Halloween makeup (which makes this set up to par with the amount of Halloween makeup looks I made last year huzzaaah), and tbh, I’m not really happy with this one. See, I was planning a melted face SFX look (think skin dripping as if I’m made of wax), but unfortunately, my college years of making jello shots did not prepare me for the DIY gelatin prosthetics scene. For THREE DAYS I’ve scoured the bowels of Youtube for a recipe that will work (like I even tried cooking in May’s place in Hellmouth) without sliding off my face and I’ve even Googled for local online stores selling Mehron 3D gel just to save me from my DIY misery (result: there is none), but alas, it’s not meant to be. 

So since I’ve already borrowed a crown for this look (LOL #effort), I went ahead and did it anyway (sans the skin dripping) just so I can claim that I’ve already done 6 Halloween makeup looks (…and I can peacefully obsess about how the heck am I going to execute my 7th/last one):

Judge: And now, for your final round question: If you have one bucket that contains 2 gallons and another bucket that contains 7 gallons, how many buckets do you have?
Me:

What I did…

…for the right side of my face:

  1. I drew a line in the middle of my face using my black NYX Retractable Eyeliner, and shielded my left eyebrow for the liquid latex later on with Elmer’s Glue Stick (I like using the purple variant that smells like grapes because the color change from purple-to-clear lets you know that the glue has dried)
  2. Prepped the right side of my face using Urban Decay’s Optical Illusion Complexion Primer, then applied Maybelline’s Fit Me Liquid Foundation in Natural Beige with a damp beauty sponge all over this area. I also used a cooopious amount of Maybelline Liquid Concealer in Medium to hide my eyebags.
  3. I shaped and groomed and filled in my right eyebrow using Nichido Browmaster in Gingerbread and Coastal Scents Brow Palette until you can see my eyebrow from Mars because I was aiming for that Brooke Shields-in-the-80s look. Then I defined it further by dabbing liquid concealer around that eyebrow. Bleeend.
  4. I defined my nose and my cheek using Fashion 21’s Contour Kit, highlighted my browbone, cheekbone and cupid’s bow using Sleek’s Highlighting Palette in Precious Metals over Benefit’s watt’s up, and colored my cheek with the blush powder from Sleek’s Contour Kit until it looks like I was slapped in a backstage catfight.
  5. I dabbed a bit of NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk over my lid because I’ll need a white base to make the super bright eyeshadow colors pop. Then I mixed blue and pink facepaint from my Flash palette to create the purple I applied on the crease, and applied the sky blue facepaint from the same palette on my lid. I made the colors pop out even more by dabbing a shimmery sky blue eyeshadow called Peace over my lid, and a shimmery purplish pink eyeshadow called Fishnet over the crease (both from the Urban Decay Deluxe Shadowbox Palette). I used the same colors for my lower lashline, then blend. Blend to infinity and beyond.
  6.  I tightlined using the same black eyeliner I used to divide the areas of my face earlier, created a winged eye using LifeFord Hi-Precise Eye Pen, and finished that off with #BT03 Bohktoh falsies that I applied using my favorite Nichido eyelash glue.
  7. Because I was aiming for that 80’s look (thus the thick Brooke Shields eyebrow), aka the time when nobody batted an eye if you match a BLUE! and PURPLE! eyeshadow combo with PINK! cheeks and a RED! lipstick, I used Gloss Skin and Beyond’s Diva matte liquid lippie.

 

…for the left side of my face:

  1. The rough texture is composed of uneven bits and pieces of dried tissue paper that were dipped in Elmers Glue.
  2. Sooo basically I just covered my left face with Graftobian liquid latex and attached those bits of tissue paper to my skin. I covered my eyesocket with a round cotton pad so the liquid latex (and tissue) won’t get to my left eye, and then sandwiched that with another layer of tissue paper and liquid latex.
  3. I traced the middle line (that I drew with my eyeliner earlier) with liquid latex, which I then covered with a thin roll of DIY scar wax (equal amounts of petroleum jelly and flour with a few drops of your liquid foundation)…which I then pressed and blended to my real skin.
  4. Once everything’s dry, I painted my paper mache’d face and scar wax with the same liquid foundation, blush, eyeshadow and lipstick that I used on my real skin–the wonkier the better since I want the left side of my face to be disintegrating (if not melting!), and hey, I’m freakin doing this step with only one seeing eye.
  5. Added some black drips (for the mascara) and even glued the other half of my falsies to make it look a bit more “real” (heh).
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Honey Beesh SFX Makeup

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So I’ve finally reached my 4th Halloween makeup for 2018 (3 more to go!!!), and this time, it was inspired by the gifts I received from Gloss Skin and Beyond, a local enterprise (owned by fashionista-turned-doting-mom, Mini) offering all-natural, cruelty-free, FDA-approved skincare and cosmetic products. Now this is the part where I’ll sound pretentious with a “Mini and I go way back…” statement, but let’s not go there; I’m already trying hard not to be the Jaclyn Hill to her Kim Kardashian. All I know is that she’s the popular girl two years my senior in Rural who, in a time when Duramo slides were the norm, sported that cute pair of Nike sandals I’ve been eyeing in Planet Sports for weeeeeks so yeah,I was too intimidated to even speak to her #fashuuun nature. So you can just imagine my disbelief when I unboxed the makeup haul she sent me last Monday:

(L-R) one sunflower soap & one shea butter + cocoa butter soap, one strawberry lip scrub (I’ve stopped exfoliating my lips with a toothbrush like a barbarian. Thanks Mini!), one Wonder Lash & Brow Grower serum, four (4) lip & cheek stains, and four (4) matte liquid lipsticks. Wowza.

It was such a sweet gesture that kinda left me in a panic: how the heck can I use any of these without hurting Gloss Skin and Beyond’s pretty sweet brand image? We all know what kind of image I possess! And so I wondered, hmm since I’m the type of gullible who takes things almost always literally, then let’s create a makeup look that’s literally sweet, honey-and-bees sweet…with a dash of trypophobia:

WHAT I DID

…FOR THE FACE:

  1. I rubbed a bit of Urban Decay’s Optical Illusion Complexion Primer on my face to make the liquid foundation + heavy contouring look more flawless, avoiding my left eye socket area because really, why would I waste my fancy primer on an area I’ll cover with a DIY eye patch later?
  2. I applied Maybelline’s Fit Me Liquid Foundation in Natural Beige using a damp beauty sponge. Added more coverage by applying bareMinerals Mineral Foundation in Neutral Medium with a huge foundation brush. Slathered an inverted triangle of Maybelline’s liquid concealer in Medium under each eye and blended that out with my middle finger.
  3.  I used the two brown shades from Fashion 21’s Contour Kit–the lighter brown to define my nose and cheeks, the darker brown to cast a shadow that can slim down the outer area of my cheeks and make my forehead less Rihanna-ish. This is the part where I reaaally wanted to use one of Gloss Skin and Beyond’s lip and cheek stains to add color to my cheeks, but alas, I’ll be using the very sticky modeling wax on my left cheek, so a powder-based blush like that from Sleek’s Contour Kit is needed. Then I illuminated my nose bridge, cheekbones, cupid’s bow and browbone with Sleek’s Highlighting Palette in Precious Metals over Benefit’s watts up highlighter (yeah I’m a highlighter junkie so wat)
  4. Dusted a bit of bareminerals Mineral Veil Finishing Powder with a huge fluffy brush for that airbrushed look.

…FOR THE EYES:

  1. I shaped my brows with Nichido Browmaster in Gingerbread. Went a bit #extra and rubbed a bit of concealer around my eyebrows to make them eeeeven more defined.
  2. I dabbed a bit of Nyx Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk over my lids so the white will make the eyeshadow colors pop.
  3. For the eyeshadow: the neon pink shade from the Coastal Scents Creative Me palette over my lids and below my lower lash line, then the bright purple from the same palette over the crease and the outer corners of my lids. Topped them with the glitter light pink, pink & purple shades from the Urban Decay Moondust palette (applied with a wet finger so the glitters will really stick)
  4. Tightlined with NYX Retractable black eyeliner, created my cat eyeliner look with my black, Lifeford Hi-Precise Eye Pen, and finished that off with my new favorite falsies (#BT03 Bohktoh false eyelashes) that I used with my favorite, holy-grail-of-an-eyelash-glue from Nichido.

…FOR THE LIPS (MADE SMOOTH & SOFT THANKS TO THE STRAWBERRY LIP SCRUB I USED EARLIER THAT DAY #NAKS):

I chose Gloss Skin and Beyond’s matte liquid lipstick in Go Girl (which I can describe as a Mocha Neutral Pink: “Ang pink po nya! Grabeng pink. Ah hindi naman po masyadong pink kasi neutral yung dating nya sa skin kaya sakto lang po. Parang pink na mas neutral po.”) so the color would go well with my ultra-mega-girly eyeshadow combo. When I swatched it, it reminded me of Revlon’s Ultra HD Matte Lipcolor…but unlike Revlon’s, Go Girl really delivered its lightweight & transfer-proof promise once applied on the lips. Oh, and its smell reminds me of my cat (but that’s because I bathe my cat with a honeydew-melon-yogurt scented cleansing syrup from Snoe so beh!)

…FOR THE “BEES”:

I decided to unearth the Great Nail Art Stash of 2013 for the unused, fake stick-on nails sent by my mom, which I then painted with a yellow nail polish (China Glaze’s Happy Go Lucky) and a black nail polish (Orly’s Liquid Vinyl). I let them dry while creating the beehive’d patch for my left eye…and if you’re wondering where the heck are their wings, well, “A bee’s wings move so rapidly that studying them, even seeing them, has proved difficult.” #YeaaahScienceBtch

…FOR THE BEEHIVE’D EYE PATCH:

  1. I framed a round cotton pad (which already fits my eye socket area) with tissue paper bits and Elmer’s Glue.
  2. I covered the cotton pad with my DIY scar wax (equal amounts of flour + petroleum jelly and a bit of liquid foundation) that I fashioned into a tiny pizza dough…because my DIY scar wax is easier to mold than the ever-sticky Graftobian modeling wax (plus it’s already pigmented thanks to the liquid foundation included in its ingredients).
  3. I lined my actual eye socket area with Graftobian liquid latex, pressed the tissue paper frame of my eye patch over it, and sandwiched it with more liquid latex. I didn’t want to challenge gravity while the liquid latex is still wet so I just faced the ceiling while trying to send a text with one eye. 😉
  4. Once the liquid latex’d frame of my eyepatch is dry, I smoothened out the edges and blended them to my real skin using Graftobian modeling wax. Used the same liquid foundation and mineral foundation I applied to the rest of my face earlier so the eye patch can match my actual skin…plus the mineral veil powder too, so both my DIY scar wax and Graftobian modeling wax can lose their sticky-icky nature.
  5. To create the 3D holes, I pressed the tip of an eyeshadow makeup brush onto the waxy, fake skin surface of my eye patch; I even rolled the brush like my eye socket was one big pencil sharpener until I was satisfied that the holes were big enough. #InsertDirtyJokeHere
  6. Then I filled the holes with black facepaint from my Flash palette and glued my fake bees with more liquid latex.

…AND FOR THE HONEY:

I’m pretty proud of this because this was a total, last-minute moment of eureka (after an hour of mixing Elmer’s Glue and hair gel and yellow facepaint to no avail!) I simply opened a pack of Garnier’s Lightening Peel Off Mask (which already comes in a translucent yellow shade) and mixed it with a few drops of yellow food coloring.

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White Walker SFX Makeup

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HERE comes my most pretentious post yet!! Because unlike my other makeup looks (usually inspired by songs/movies/pop culture characters that I actually love to death), this makeup look was done simply so I can finally stop obsessing about my July makeup project, since I’ve already got my August & September projects all figured out. Kudos to my colleague Dan for (once again!) having the tendency to inquire about the stuff he sees on my computer screen lololol (it’s actually my pet peeve as an introvert [that I’ve been trying to work on…!] which is why this is my only professional ambition, but hey, at least it resulted to something!) So yeah, I’m not a huge Game of Thrones (or fantasy stuff, for that matter) fan, but the hype is sooo stroooong and the materials are soo simple, I couldn’t resist taking advantage of it.

[SPOILER]………………This is how I look when I’m hangry
What I did:

  1. Start with a clean face. No primer this time, since I was scared it was gonna reduce the adhesion of My Graftobian liquid latex.
  2. PROTECT YOUR HAIR AND EYEBROWS BECAUSE LIQUID LATEX WILL CLING TO YOUR HAIR LIKE AN OVERBEARING PARENT ON HER SON’S FIRST DAY AT KINDERGARTEN. Use a headband and stick a thin layer of tissue all over your brows with Elmer’s Glue if you don’t have scar wax (which, I’ve learned after regularly dropping by cosmetic specialty stores like Pure Beauty, is very hard to find in the Philippines if it’s not the Halloween season yet!). Elmer’s Glue is a lot more forgiving to hair–unlike liquid latex, which has made me demote my Naked 2 brush into one of my facepainting brush after I accidentally dipped it in liquid latex when I was creating this look.
  3. For the White walker’s wrinkly skin, rip & roll tiny bits of one-ply tissue until they look like anorexic cocoons. This was the most time-consuming part for me (because I like to make sure they all have the same size), so I suggest you get a cat who can shred your tissue for you.

    If you want your own smug-looking, tissue-shredding monster of destruction, I heard you can adopt one from CARA. I heard, ha. 😛
  4. Draw the White walker skin wrinkles on your face using an eyeliner pencil (color doesn’t matter since you’ll be using facepaint later anyway)
  5. Trace the lines you just drew with liquid latex, which is what’ll get those tissue wrinkles to stick to your face. Do it one at a time because the latex dries faaast. I even added a layer of tissue over my nose to give it more definition.
  6. Once everything’s dry and secure, cover your face (and neck and hair) with Snazaroo clown white face paint.
  7. Use an angled eyeliner brush to do the shading: gray facepaint for your strips of real skin, and black facepaint to define the nose and make your face look like an albino bitter gourd (aka ampalaya but since I’m already being pretentious by making this makeup look, why stop at that?). I lined my waterline with NYX Retractable Black liner as if it’s 2006 and I’m pretending to like My Chemical Romance all over again.
  8. Form a pathetic-looking beard with cotton & mooore liquid latex, use a beauty app for fake blue eyes (because I’m too stingy to buy blue contacts I’d barely get to use…and I have just recovered from a really mean eye stye so nope nope noooope)
  9. Feel good about yourself. You know you’ve managed to do a pretty neat job kahit ‘di ka naman fan. #OMGImLikeSoInSaUso

 

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Erasure’s A Little Respect Makeup

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Truth be told, I was supposed to post this on the first week of January so I can welcome the New Year with bullsh*t (read: Thought Catalog-level of “deep” reflections that make me feel disgusted with myself sometimes). Unfortunately, real life got in the way, and I had to make some time for the more important things like career blah blah dealing with a new distraction blah blah having my phone fixed for the second time blah. This isn’t one of my favorite makeup looks but then I won’t be able to post the others without getting this out of the way first sayang naman dahil nagawa ko na ugh

See, January is the time for making (and pretending to keep) a New Year’s resolution. I didn’t bother creating one, because I’d like to think that my self-awareness (bordering on overthinking!) is already a proof that

a) I know my flaws

b) I constantly make an effort improving those flaws (despite being a wanker according to Tyler Durden).

While I’m rallying for those who wish to improve their lives this 2017, I’m also hoping that this will be a year for us to have a little more respect for each other. I know that’s a bit rich coming from someone who has a potty mouth and social anxiety…but whenever I look back at my 2016, I feel like I spent majority of that year stewing in anger. Can you really blame me? 2016 was such a shitf*ck of a year filled with disrespectful savage pricks who think we can just revise history and forget okay tama na a little respect a little respecttttt So yeah, my only wish for 2017 is for a little respect for everyone. Notice how I used “wish” and not “resolution”? I doubt I can keep that as a resolution anyway, for I still think that respect begets respect. So if we respect each other or at least just agree to disagree and live peacefully, ok cool su vida no es mi vida. But if someone commits an act that attacks other people, I sure as hell will not be quiet about it because I wasn’t raised to be a doormat and you shouldn’t be one too.

So, here’s the makeup look that’s the visual representation of how I interpreted the song “A Little Respect” by Erasure (which, as 2000ish tweens would know, was famously covered by the band Wheatus but I still prefer the original because the video is hilarious af):

♫…we can make love not war, and live with peace in our hearts. I’m so in love with you, I’ll be forever blueeee…♫ 
  1.  Rub a bit of makeup primer (bareMinerals Prime Time) all over your face to make the face paint look like they’re applied on a flawless, acne-free canvas. 
  2. Stick two pieces of painter’s tape diagonally on your face. Use white eyeliner (NYX Retractable White Liner) to trace the lines. You don’t have to make the same pattern I used; I just wanted to make sure that I won’t have to do eye makeup on my left eye because it takes me forever to line dat bitch.
  3. Glam up the middle part of your face by doing the usual pretty-girl makeup. For the eye makeup, I used the following: an eyeshadow primer (Lorac Behind The Scenes Eye Primer) to make the eyeshadow colors pop, light brown eyeshadow (Lorac Pro’s Taupe) as transition color over my crease, shimmery cream eyeshadow (Lorac Pro’s Nude) to highlight my browbone, NYX Jumbo pencil in Milk all over my lid to make the blue colors pop later, cyan eyeshadow (Urban Decay’s Peace) for the inner lid corner & bright blue eyeshadow (Coastal Scents’ Electric Blue) for the outer lid corner, champagne eyeliner pencil (Jordana’s Just Pearly) on the lower waterline to make my eye look bigger, Benefit They’re Real Push-up eyeliner & Benefit Roller Lash mascara to make my left eyelashes appear thicker. I filled both my eyebrows using the darkest brown shade from Coastal Scents brow kit. For the rest of the face, I used a beauty sponge to apply liquid foundation (L’Oreal Infallible) to even out my skin tone/achieve better contrast with the camouflage pattern, and a blue lipcolor (OCC lip tar in RX).
  4. Create a camouflage pattern on the rest of your face by summoning the fingerpainting skills of an infant—there’s no “right” way of creating a camouflage pattern after all. But instead of dipping my fingers into my poopy diaper I used and mixed green, brown and black face paints from my Snazaroo kit.
  5. Hate yourself for not having the energy to write this post with justice because you’re preoccupied with something that’s not even work-related and it’s making you feel blue. Arte.
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