Gimme Timmi

Retokada SFX makeup

October 4, 2017 No Comments

ONCE AGAIN I’ve failed this blog by letting an entire month go by without a single post…to think that back in July, I even mentioned having my August & September posts “figured out”. I already knew what to do; I just lost the drive to actually execute my September look. It would’ve involved a photo of myself with a birthday candle sticking out of my forehead like I’m a mutant candyland unicorn accompanied by a cheesy “30 Things I Learned At 30” list…but due to unforeseen circumstances that happened when I was supposed to create it (a week before my BKK trip), huwag na lang!!

So now I’m gonna make up for it by aiming to post a makeup look every freakin week for the entire month of October. First because I don’t want to lose the street cred I’ve gained from friends who remember to tag me whenever they find makeup videos in Facebook (more recall=more raket opportunities).

Second because I need to match my Halloween output last year, which was fueled by my desire to avenge myself from a chicken pox phase and my then-unemployment/free-spirited freelancer days:

Yep, I had five different Halloween makeup looks for 2016. SYET BA’T BA KASE AKO NAG-ADIKKKK

Anyway, this makeup look was obviously inspired by the Marlou-is-now-Xander brouhaha that has taken the internet by storm. I didn’t follow it closely (but I do know that I love the PR people behind that diabolically brilliant move to cover up the…basta. Galing!) because my feelings for Marlou/Xander hasn’t changed. I still don’t like him…as much as I DO NOT like every teenager who does all of those cringey, pa-cute hugot sh*t. Now, I’m not going to pretend that I’m one of those, “Dapat pag-aaral ang inaatupag nyo!” types since I wasn’t exactly the studious type during my teenage years…but I do know that my teenage interests were more injury-prone than soul-crushing. Man, I don’t even know how teenagers do it nowadays—I’m so thankful NOT to be one, in a time when my crazy fits of immaturity can be watched, saved and shared by the mapanghusgang lipunan ng social media.

But as much as I tend to be the judgmental Tita who hates basic teenage cringefest, I can’t help but feel sad for Xander. Here’s a boy who, aside from being more “aesthetically-challenged” & bully-magnet than I was during my elementary years (when I barely had an ounce of self-esteem because I was teased for my fish lips) or during my 2012 Michelin Man metamorphosis, obviously doesn’t know any better. I feel agitated whenever I see him do things that’ll make the internet salivate because he’s like that oblivious victim in a slasher flick—why are you doing this to yourself?!! Better, run run run run, run run run away!!!! (<–Internet high five if you sang that) Not gonna lie, I know beauty is a huuuuge commodity, but to put yourself at the mercy of people who’ll surely tear your self-esteem into pieces just for the chance to be rich and sikat, is both foolish and masochistic. I mean, there are other ways to be rich and famous besides becoming a performing monkey for the public. And it’s even more frustrating to see brainless keyboard warriors (read: those who opt for “Pakamatay ka na” kind of comments like woooow really? You’re really going to wish that another human being kills himself just because you find him ugly and annoying?!) make extra efforts to destroy him even after his transformation sickens me. T*ngina naman, when will this boy get a break? Are we really going to push him until he kills himself?

I don’t care if people go under the knife because at the end of the day, it’s not my face, it’s not my money, and it’s not my life at stake. So if Marlou has chosen the plastic surgery route (which is a sad proof of how much he has suffered), and if we’re really incapable of feeling remorseful for the actions he has taken, the least we can do is leave him the fcuk alone so he can finally be happy.

But anyways. Here are the products I used for my #Retokada makeup look. #LousySegueIsLousy

The nose bridge that launched a thousand Aviators. Salamat po, DIY modeling scar wax!!!

EYES:

Rub a bit of eyeshadow primer (Lorac Behind The Scenes primer) to make the colors pop.
Create a smoky eye look with: a glittery blue eyeshadow (Vega from the Urban Decay Moon Dust palette) as the base color of your lids, matte light brown eyeshadow (Taupe from the Lorac Pro palette) as the transition color along the crease, shimmery purple eyeshadow (Flash from the Urban Decay Shadow Box palette) as the second color of your lids, glittery green eyeshadow (Lightyear from the same Moon Dust palette) on the center, and a matte black eyeshadow (Blackout from Urban Decay Naked2 palette).
Tightline with NYX retractable black eyeliner.
Wing it with Maybelline Hypergloss black liquid eyeliner.
Use extra girly falsies with Nichido eyelash glue, set with your naturally short lashes with Benefit They’re Real black mascara.
Fill in your brows with Benefit Gimme Brow in 04.

LIPS:

I used the most nude color in my stash (NYX Liquid Suede in Soft-spoken)—I don’t have a lot of nude shades because they tend to make my lips look. Even. Bigger.
Topped it off with a really shiny, really sticky lip gloss (bare Minerals lip shimmer in Diamond Glaze) to make my lips look plasticky. God, even with the fake burned skin glued to my face, this lip gloss was still the most uncomfortable part of this look for me.

FACE:

Line your face with Graftobian liquid latex to make the scar wax (which will serve as the damaged skin) adhere to your skin.
I WOULD HAVE used Graftobian modeling scar wax for the damaged skin if it was available when I was looking for it. The good news is, I’ve checked Pure Beauty Glorietta and they’ve got stocks of it now that the Halloween season has started. But if you don’t want to pay P295 for a little pot of scar wax, you can make your own by mixing equal amounts of petroleum jelly, flour and a few drops of your liquid foundation until you feel like you’re 8yo again, trying (and failing) to mold Sailormoon’s head with PlayDoh.
Roll bits of scar wax until they look like flesh-colored leeches and stick them to the liquid latex trail you made earlier. Smoothen the scar wax until they start to look as if it’s part of your face…then mangle the outer part to make it appear as if your face was sliced by a rusty pizza cutter while you’re being transported on a bumpy road. Cover your face (and scar wax) with liquid foundation (Revlon PhotoReady Liquid Foundation in Natural Beige).
Use an eyeshadow brush to smear fake blood (red food color + hair gel + cocoa powder) on top of your mangled skin. Dab a bit of purple and yellow matte eyeshadow (from the Coastal Scents Creative Me palette) under your eyes for a bruising effect.
Finish your look with a gauze scarf wrapped around your head. #GauzeCouture

Wans agen wans more: side view for dat nose bridge yoooo

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Gimme Stitches Makeup

August 23, 2017 No Comments

If you can read this then it means that I’ve arrived safely in this really quaint, millennial capsule place called The Cube Hostel (that I managed to book for THB400/day so super nice, super suliiit!), the first of the four I’ll be staying in for the next few days (aaand it means that they’ve got wifi since I managed to publish this draft from my phone)…and by the time that you’re reading this after it popped up into your FB newsfeed, I’m probably on my way, looking for harem pants bargains for instant Namaste before Singha-ing myself to sleep because I’m gonna scream or cry (or both) my head off to Foo Fighters tomorrow night.

I’ve seen white people wear harem pants when they travel to Asia, so I’ll buy harem pants because I’m traveling to, well, still Asia.

TBH I wasn’t planning for this trip when this year started, nor did I think that I’d have the guts to Learn To Fly to Thailand (my first!) just to catch a concert alone (another first, because even in my commuting-to-Manila-after-my-last-class-to-watch-a-local-gig phase 12 years ago, I had fellow fans from the same Yahoo Group to cling to lololol Yahoo Groups was the shiiiiz man #ThoseWereTheDays)

But Honestly, it’s not just an ordinary concert. It’s the #FooThaiNang Foo Fighters concert and everyone who knows me have probably heard me vent my frustration for years now (I even mentioned it last April, when I made my A Sky Full of Stars-inspired makeup look for the Coldplay concert). Can you blame me? The first and last time the Foos went to Manila was in 1996. I was 9 then–still very much into boy bands, still very ignorant that in the Next Year, they’d release some random song I’ll forever bury and never associate with someone because it’s reserved for the moment I get married or have my first cat (whichever comes first).

So when I found out that they were coming to Singapore and Thailand (but not the Philippines, probably much to the dismay of the people from this FB page), I knew I had no other choice but to postpone my original Treat-Yo-Self plan for the year (postponement has turned into full-blown cancellation). I’m sure there are older fans who’ve been waiting for the Foo Fighters to return to Manila for the past 21 years, so in Times Like These, why should I continue waiting when I can simply accept that life is full of surprises so Stranger Things Have Happened, work my ass off with rakets left and right so my travel funds can be Something From Nothing, and use this chance to Namastay (typo and it stays) in Bee Kay Kay?

So anyway, here’s GimmeTimmi’s Gimme Stitches makeup aka Pangtawid Content Masabi Lang Na May Post This August:

DRESS ME UP IN STITCHES IT’S NOW OR NEVER, TIRED OF WEARING BLACK AND BLUE

Face:

bareMinerals Prime Time makeup primer
Revlon PhotoReady Liquid Foundation in Natural Beige
L’Oreal True Match Crayon Concealer in I-kennat-remember
NYX Sculpt & Highlight duo PLUS bareMinerals soft focus in Warmth PLUS Benefit’s Watt’s Up for the contouring/highlighting
black, white, red, blue, purple, & yellow shades from the Flash Color Palette for the bruise, stitches, and FF logo.
red food color + hair gel + cocoa powder for last-minute fake blood (red food color can stain like a b*tcccch; I actually went to work with red marks on my face myghad)

Eyes:

NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in white as eyeshadow base
Nude (for the browbone highlight) & Black (for the smokey eye) from Lorac Pro palette, Electric Blue from Coastal Scents Creative Me palette for the, well, blue. Oh and I dabbed Vega (glittery blue from Urban Decay Moondust palette) over Electric Blue.
NYX retractable black eyeliner for tightlining
Maybelline Hypergloss black liquid eyeliner for the winging
Benefit They’re Real Tinted Primer Mascara + Benefit Roller Gal Mascara
Benefit Gimme Brow in 04 Medium for the brows

Lips: Maybelline in Nude Nuance

Directions:

I don’t know what to tell you. I simply recreated the Foo Fighters logo on my face using my shirt as reference. I was winging it since my plan to use my DIY scarwax for this look failed so I just added the bruise, stitches (I was planning to use an actual metal cord for the stitching for a 3D look) using facepaint–things I learned from Youtube tutorials. #KumaCalligraphy #GMG

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White Walker SFX Makeup

July 17, 2017 No Comments

HERE comes my most pretentious post yet!! Because unlike my other makeup looks (usually inspired by songs/movies/pop culture characters that I actually love to death), this makeup look was done simply so I can finally stop obsessing about my July makeup project, since I’ve already got my August & September projects all figured out. Kudos to my colleague Dan for (once again!) having the tendency to inquire about the stuff he sees on my computer screen lololol (it’s actually my pet peeve as an introvert [that I’ve been trying to work on…!] which is why this is my only professional ambition, but hey, at least it resulted to something!) So yeah, I’m not a huge Game of Thrones (or fantasy stuff, for that matter) fan, but the hype is sooo stroooong and the materials are soo simple, I couldn’t resist taking advantage of it.

[SPOILER]………………This is how I look when I’m hangry

What I did:

Start with a clean face. No primer this time, since I was scared it was gonna reduce the adhesion of My Graftobian liquid latex.
PROTECT YOUR HAIR AND EYEBROWS BECAUSE LIQUID LATEX WILL CLING TO YOUR HAIR LIKE AN OVERBEARING PARENT ON HER SON’S FIRST DAY AT KINDERGARTEN. Use a headband and stick a thin layer of tissue all over your brows with Elmer’s Glue if you don’t have scar wax (which, I’ve learned after regularly dropping by cosmetic specialty stores like Pure Beauty, is very hard to find in the Philippines if it’s not the Halloween season yet!). Elmer’s Glue is a lot more forgiving to hair–unlike liquid latex, which has made me demote my Naked 2 brush into one of my facepainting brush after I accidentally dipped it in liquid latex when I was creating this look.
For the White walker’s wrinkly skin, rip & roll tiny bits of one-ply tissue until they look like anorexic cocoons. This was the most time-consuming part for me (because I like to make sure they all have the same size), so I suggest you get a cat who can shred your tissue for you.
If you want your own smug-looking, tissue-shredding monster of destruction, I heard you can adopt one from CARA. I heard, ha. 😛
Draw the White walker skin wrinkles on your face using an eyeliner pencil (color doesn’t matter since you’ll be using facepaint later anyway)
Trace the lines you just drew with liquid latex, which is what’ll get those tissue wrinkles to stick to your face. Do it one at a time because the latex dries faaast. I even added a layer of tissue over my nose to give it more definition.
Once everything’s dry and secure, cover your face (and neck and hair) with Snazaroo clown white face paint.
Use an angled eyeliner brush to do the shading: gray facepaint for your strips of real skin, and black facepaint to define the nose and make your face look like an albino bitter gourd (aka ampalaya but since I’m already being pretentious by making this makeup look, why stop at that?). I lined my waterline with NYX Retractable Black liner as if it’s 2006 and I’m pretending to like My Chemical Romance all over again.
Form a pathetic-looking beard with cotton & mooore liquid latex, use a beauty app for fake blue eyes (because I’m too stingy to buy blue contacts I’d barely get to use…and I have just recovered from a really mean eye stye so nope nope noooope)
Feel good about yourself. You know you’ve managed to do a pretty neat job kahit ‘di ka naman fan. #OMGImLikeSoInSaUso

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Wonder Woman Comic Book Makeup

June 23, 2017 No Comments

I’ve been putting this off for 2 weeks now, that I’m no longer sure if Wonder Woman is still showing in the cinemas. But just like what people who subjected themselves to dodgy forms of contraception say once they know they’re in the clear: “It’s better late than never.”

I know I’ve been kinda slacking off which is why I didn’t get to post anything last month. Emphasis on “kinda”, because despite the makeup hiatus, I was still exercising my “creativity”…through Android themes customization. #ExcusesExcuses

Behold, the fruits of my newfound addiction:

Bioshock Infinite Android Theme: Wallpaper, The Grid icon pack (better than the icons I used), Clock widget & Google Search Bar widget. Pulp Fiction Android Theme: Wallpaper, Shimu icon pack, Clock Widget & Google Search Bar widget .Red Dead Redemption: Wallpaper, Zeon Red icon pack, & Clock Widget. Back to the Future: Wallpaper (the original artwork is made by James Flames), Almug Icon pack & Present Time widget.

IF you have a launcher app (I’m using Nova Prime) and the Zooper Widget Pro running in your Android phone, you can use my themes (or not, su telefono es no mi freakin telefono IDGAF) by downloading the resources above (originally uploaded all for the sake of Reddit upvotes lel).

Right.

Now that I’ve gotten that outta my system, I can finally blabber on about my Wonder Woman comic book makeup look (which is why…you know, I have this makeup blog in the first place)…or at least, my attempt to look like the comic book version of Wonder Woman–an entire month of not holding a makeup brush made me rusty af.

I mean, I am aware that I am no Paolo Ballesteros and there’s not enough makeup in the world that will allow me to look as good as the bunions Gal Gadot (who used to be That Stunning Chick Who Made Me Rewind Her Bikini Scene In Fast & Furious 5 Because Ghad I Kennat With Dat Bone Structure…so you can just imagine my reaction when she resurfaced as the new Wonder Woman) probably acquired from hours of wearing those wicked Wonder Woman boots. So I settled on making myself look comical instead.

Face:

bareMinerals Prime Time makeup primer
Revlon PhotoReady Liquid Foundation in Natural Beige
L’Oreal True Match Crayon Concealer in I-kennat-remember
NYX Sculpt & Highlight duo PLUS bareMinerals soft focus in Warmth PLUS Benefit’s Watt’s Up for the extreme contouring/highlighting
the gold, red & white shades from the Flash Color Palette for the headband, Snazaroo black face paint for the lines (I find Snazaroo creamier/more pigmented)
Rihanna size of forehead as your canvas

Eyes:

NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in white as eyeshadow base
White, Nude, Taupe, Sable, & Espresso from the Lorac Pro palette for the smokey eye
NYX retractable black eyeliner for tightlining
Maybelline Hypergloss black liquid eyeliner for the winging
Nichido False Eyelashes + the holy grail that is Nichido Eyelash Glue
Benefit Roller Gal Mascara

Lips: Urban Decay comfort matte lipstick in Doubt

Directions:

Ehhh who am I kidding, I simply recreated Shonagh Scott’s makeup look. Easier said than done though–yes I can manage drawing an upside down nose or an extra set of eyes–but a perfectly-symmetrical, 5-pointed star?! Took me 2 Thor movies to finish.

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A Sky Full of Stars makeup

April 4, 2017 No Comments

So Coldplay’s gonna hold their first Manila concert tonight. I’m sure everyone–even the most internet-challenged, anti-social mold under a rock–knows it, seeing as 8000 Coldplay tickets were sold in 6 freakin minutes, and people have been bitching about the difficulties of scoring tickets ever since. I won’t bother discussing my shock (…upon seeing hoy-nangungutang-ka-lang-nung-isang-araw-diba people suddenly capable of acquiring tickets) further since I’m trying to be less of a basag-trip, and I don’t want to appear bitter since I won’t be attending the event.

Sure I like Coldplay (and yes I’ve listened to their albums and I can name other songs aside from Yellow or The Scientist), but not to the point that I’d actually make an effort to score an overpriced ticket or find people to hang out with (as much as I’m used to doing things solo, going to a concert still scares the living crap out of me and I don’t want to wait around for friends–out of town trips nga ang hirap na matuloy, concert pa with hard-to-find-and-afford tickets?!). And anyway, ever since I let the chance to attend the 2015 National Convention of Titas (the Backstreet Boys concert which was a dream come true for my 12-year-old self; I could’ve gotten a ticket for “free” but the stakes were too high/I wasn’t willing to sell my soul lol) slip out of my fingers, I figured I’d survive missing out on this one. I’d rather wait and choose my battles which include: Foo Fighters (P*NYETA NAMAN DAVE KAHIT ISANG GABI LANG AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I STILL HAVEN’T UNLIKED THIS FB PAGE), Daft Punk, Radiohead, Spice Girls (still debatable), and IF they finally bring Miss Saigon back to Manila (SH*T LANG SH*T LANG TALAGA PLEAAASE).

Anyway, here’s the A-Sky-Full-of-Stars-inspired makeup look I created last November (?), as soon as I heard the news. If I remember correctly, this look just took a little over an hour for me to create–still longer than the time it took for Coldplay tickets to get sold out. Ayus.

♫ I don’t care go on and tear me apart…I don’t care if you do, ooh…cause in a sky, ’cause in a sky full of stars I think I saw ~~your fly open~~ you ♫

For the galaxy face:
1. Rub a bit of makeup primer (bareMinerals Prime Time) all over your face to the foundation and face paint appear as if it’s applied on an acne-free canvas.
2. Use an eyeliner pencil to draw an inverted triangle on your face.
3. Fill that triangle with black face paint (like Snazaroo).
4. Release your pent-up frustration for missing Coldplay by tearing cheap beauty sponges into pieces or until they look like coral reefs. Use these sponges with white facepaint (I still used Snazaroo) to add random white cloud marks on that black triangle, so you can have more shades/dimensions when you start filling everything with galaxy-colored eyeshadow colors. (I went even further by using the same sponges with blue, purple and pink facepaint.)
5. Make the triangle look more space-y and go crazy with the eyeshadow. Gather all the pink, purple, blue, dark blue, green, silver, gold, metallic, glittery eyeshadow pans you own and apply them randomly all over the triangle with different types of makeup brush. I used these palettes: Urban Decay Deluxe Shadow Box, Urban Decay Moondust, Coastal Scents Creative Me 1 & Coastal Scents Creative Me 2.
6. Create the stars/white spatter using an old toothbrush dipped in diluted white face paint. Flick the head 6 inches away from your face until you’re happy (get yer mind out of the gutter I’m talking about the toothbrush!!)
7. Trace the outside area of your space triangle with streak of liquid latex (I’m using Graftobian and I’m impressed with its stickiness). Stick a zipper along the liquid latexed area before it dries.
8. For the rest of the face, I used L’Oreal Infallible liquid foundation and NYX Sculpt & Highlight for contouring.
For the eyes:
1. Fill and shape the brows using the darkest shade from Coastal Scents brow kit.
2. (For the life of me I cannot remember the exact eyeshadow colors I used for the normal eye it’s been months since I made this look huhuh.)
3. Line your lids with a black eyeliner pen from K-Palette. Tightline with a black retractable eyeliner from Nyx (because, you know, I don’t wanna go blind if I use an eyeliner pen on my waterline).
4. Make your eyelashes seem longer than your patience with Benefit’s They’re Real tinted eyelash primer +Benefit’s Roller Gal mascara.
For my lips, I used my BYS Viva Violetta lipstick. It’s one of the makeup freebies my good friend, Gus Villa received from an event he attended months ago–so syempre sino pa bang gagamit? 😀 #IHaveTheMostSupportiveFriends #LordPleaseGetHimInvitedToMoreEventsWithKikayFreebies

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St. Patrick’s Day makeup

March 17, 2017 No Comments

Due to force of habit I always remember March 17 as St. Patrick’s Day even if I’m not Irish. I’m not even going to pretend that I know all the saints; the only reason I love this day is because it gives you a free pass to drink until you see rainbows and until leprechauns start looking like Chris O’Dowd (or Michael Fassbender or any Irish dude you find attractive but this is my blog so I’m going with Chris O’Dowd). Some might argue and say that I’m stereotyping because not all Irish people drink but I swear, there’s European level of drinking (which is something even I haven’t met with my 8-Pilsen record)…and then there’s Irish level of drinking. It’s in-freaking-sane.

I also made a St. Patrick’s Day look last year

but it wouldn’t be fun if I just repeat it for this year, would it? Plus, I need to show progress somehow, despite my dwindling makeup addiction soo:

HAPPY PADDY’S DAY BITCHES! I swear to God I didn’t look this white it’s all in the selfie light heh

First things first: You’re going to attached a freakin beer can on your face so make sure it’s clean. Clean a Guinness by spilling every drop of that rich, dark, roasted goodness down your throat.
Regret nothing. Convince yourself that you’re drinking FOR A MAKEUP PROJECT FOR YOUR BLOG; surely you are still the more responsible, more mature Tita that you are now!!!
Dear self, your days of imitating Sweet Dee’s drunken antics are over. Pra.Mis.
Trim it diagonally, rinse and set it aside.
For the eye:
1. Rub a bit of eyeshadow primer (Lorac Behind The Scenes Eye Primer) to make the colors stick and pop.
2. Apply 2 shades of brown eyeshadow on the crease. Lorac Pro Palette’s Taupe for the inner corner, and a warmer brown like bareMineral’s soft focus face color in Warmth for the outer corner.
3. For the green eyeshadow I went with Urban Decay’s Graffiti but I didn’t like how bright it was so I added a layer of shimmery dark green eyeshadow like Coastal Scent’s Balsam over it. Dab a bit of glittery green eyeshadow like Urban Decay’s Lightyear on the center. Repeat step for the area under your lower lash line.
4. Darken the outer corner of your lid with a dark, glittery gray eyeshadow like Lorac Pro’s Slate. Repeat step for the area under your lower lash line.
5. Blend like every stroke burns calories.
6. Line your lid with a black eyeliner pen from K-Palette. Line your lower waterline with a gold retractable eye pencil from Nyx.
7. Make your eyelashes seem longer than your patience with Benefit’s They’re Real tinted eyelash primer + Benefit’s Roller Gal mascara.
8. Fill in your brow with K-Palette Tattoo Real Lasting Eyebrow Liner in 01-Natural Brown.
For the lips, I used a dark green liquid lipstick like LA Splash in Nagini. Totally appropriate because St. Patrick totaaaally drove all dem “snakes” away from Ireland amirite
For the face:
1. Rub a bit of makeup primer (bareMinerals Prime Time) all over your face to make your liquid foundation (L’Oreal’s Infallible in Radiant Beige) appear as if it’s applied on an acne-free canvas.
2. Cast a shadow on every area you wanna trim down (this technique does not apply on your tummy not that I tried…) with bareMinerals soft focus in Warmth, and highlight with Benefit’s Watt’s Up). Add a bit of blush if you want.
3. Use an eyepencil to trace the area where you’re going to stick the beer can.
4. Line that area with little bits of tissue soaked in liquid latex (YES SA WAKAS NAKAHANAP NA AKO AND I’M USING GRAFTOBIAN)
5. Stick the beer can before the liquid latex dries. Add more bits of liquid latexed tissue to secure it.
6. Because it’s so hard to see with only one eye, you’ll discover that you mistakenly grabbed one of your good brushes (that brush that came along with your Naked 2!!!!) to apply the liquid latex. Hate yourself, repeat until you lose some sleep because how else are you gonna replace that brush without buying a new palette?!?!!?
7. Mourn for the loss of a good makeup brush by dabbing a bit of purple eyeshadow around the beer can area for some kinda bruising effect.
8. Once the tissue bits are dried, cover them up with the same foundation you used on your face.
9. Let fake blood (a mixture of cocoa powder + pancake syrup + red facepaint) drip around the beer can to make it appear as if some Irish dude with super drunk Irish strength impaled your smartass face with his drink.

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Your Universe makeup

February 14, 2017 No Comments

Once again, it’s Hallmark Consumerism Day. Though I’m not a big fan of flowers and chocolates and shiz, I don’t hate it since it IS the day when it’s acceptable to act like a damn foo. YES I act foolish most of the time but not in the cheesy, lovey-dovey sense. And since I suck at expressing my feeeelingz when it comes to looove, I’d rather do it through makeup. (There’s a chance I will regret this later but life is too short for me to keep playing it safe–that’s something I learned recently!)

This makeup look was inspired by Rico Blanco’s song called Your Universe. Sure it sounds cheesy but I will never be ashamed of my weakness for the local artists I grew up listening to (Ely, Ebe, & Armi, you’re next on my list!!) I know this makeup look would’ve worked for certain Coldplay songs but don’t worry, I already have another look for them wahahaha. Besides, I think it’s just appropriate for me to post an OPM-inspired makeup look today…because I believe, that OPM (Original Pilipino Music) is a lot like love: IT AIN’T DEAD. #MakonekLang

♫…you can thank your stars all you want but I’ll always be the lucky one. ♫

I’m not gonna bother with the details since ~~I just can’t be arsed to deal with makeup today but I will hate myself if I continue taking this blog for granted~~ I simply followed this galaxy makeup tutorial by ItsJustJune. The only things I added were: applying white facepaint with a damp beauty sponge over my cheeks as a base for the galaxy colors, and drawing the star sign I hold dear to my heart (lol) using stick-on rhinestones and Nyx silver eyeliner pencil. Oh and I used OCC lip tars in Pretty Boy & Hoochie for a supposed pink-and-purple ombre lips but my lousy camera phone just couldn’t capture it.

Happy Valentine’s Day, fool!

View post on imgur.com

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Erasure’s A Little Respect Makeup

January 26, 2017 No Comments

Truth be told, I was supposed to post this on the first week of January so I can welcome the New Year with bullsh*t (read: Thought Catalog-level of “deep” reflections that make me feel disgusted with myself sometimes). Unfortunately, real life got in the way, and I had to make some time for the more important things like career blah blah dealing with a new distraction blah blah having my phone fixed for the second time blah. This isn’t one of my favorite makeup looks but then I won’t be able to post the others without getting this out of the way first sayang naman dahil nagawa ko na ugh

See, January is the time for making (and pretending to keep) a New Year’s resolution. I didn’t bother creating one, because I’d like to think that my self-awareness (bordering on overthinking!) is already a proof that

a) I know my flaws

b) I constantly make an effort improving those flaws (despite being a wanker according to Tyler Durden).

While I’m rallying for those who wish to improve their lives this 2017, I’m also hoping that this will be a year for us to have a little more respect for each other. I know that’s a bit rich coming from someone who has a potty mouth and social anxiety…but whenever I look back at my 2016, I feel like I spent majority of that year stewing in anger. Can you really blame me? 2016 was such a shitf*ck of a year filled with disrespectful savage pricks who think we can just revise history and forget okay tama na a little respect a little respecttttt So yeah, my only wish for 2017 is for a little respect for everyone. Notice how I used “wish” and not “resolution”? I doubt I can keep that as a resolution anyway, for I still think that respect begets respect. So if we respect each other or at least just agree to disagree and live peacefully, ok cool su vida no es mi vida. But if someone commits an act that attacks other people, I sure as hell will not be quiet about it because I wasn’t raised to be a doormat and you shouldn’t be one too.

So, here’s the makeup look that’s the visual representation of how I interpreted the song “A Little Respect” by Erasure (which, as 2000ish tweens would know, was famously covered by the band Wheatus but I still prefer the original because the video is hilarious af):

♫…we can make love not war, and live with peace in our hearts. I’m so in love with you, I’ll be forever blueeee…♫

Rub a bit of makeup primer (bareMinerals Prime Time) all over your face to make the face paint look like they’re applied on a flawless, acne-free canvas.
Stick two pieces of painter’s tape diagonally on your face. Use white eyeliner (NYX Retractable White Liner) to trace the lines. You don’t have to make the same pattern I used; I just wanted to make sure that I won’t have to do eye makeup on my left eye because it takes me forever to line dat bitch.
Glam up the middle part of your face by doing the usual pretty-girl makeup. For the eye makeup, I used the following: an eyeshadow primer (Lorac Behind The Scenes Eye Primer) to make the eyeshadow colors pop, light brown eyeshadow (Lorac Pro’s Taupe) as transition color over my crease, shimmery cream eyeshadow (Lorac Pro’s Nude) to highlight my browbone, NYX Jumbo pencil in Milk all over my lid to make the blue colors pop later, cyan eyeshadow (Urban Decay’s Peace) for the inner lid corner & bright blue eyeshadow (Coastal Scents’ Electric Blue) for the outer lid corner, champagne eyeliner pencil (Jordana’s Just Pearly) on the lower waterline to make my eye look bigger, Benefit They’re Real Push-up eyeliner & Benefit Roller Lash mascara to make my left eyelashes appear thicker. I filled both my eyebrows using the darkest brown shade from Coastal Scents brow kit. For the rest of the face, I used a beauty sponge to apply liquid foundation (L’Oreal Infallible) to even out my skin tone/achieve better contrast with the camouflage pattern, and a blue lipcolor (OCC lip tar in RX).
Create a camouflage pattern on the rest of your face by summoning the fingerpainting skills of an infant—there’s no “right” way of creating a camouflage pattern after all. But instead of dipping my fingers into my poopy diaper I used and mixed green, brown and black face paints from my Snazaroo kit.
Hate yourself for not having the energy to write this post with justice because you’re preoccupied with something that’s not even work-related and it’s making you feel blue. Arte.

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Makeup

Borderlands 2 Psycho Bandit Makeup

December 31, 2016 No Comments

The thing about making promises is, I have difficulties keeping them if they’re not in a professional setting. There’s a 25% chance that I’d break it, and a 75% chance I’d keep it (but it would take forever e.g. “Oo men pramis naedit ko na resume mo, nakakalimutan ko lang isend. Mamaya isesend ko na…wait seryoso you have a job already??”) SO I’m very happy that I finally got to do this look because I did promise myself that I’d do the Psycho look before the year ends so yey meeee!

Just to be clear, this post won’t include a tutorial. I swear to God it’s gonna take me forever to write one because the entire process is THAT time-consuming. But if you do wish to create this look, you can use madeyewlook’s video tutorial because: she’s awesome, she’s my favorite Youtube makeup guru, and yes I have a BLC on her.

This makeup look is a homage to the first FPS game that I enjoyed playing, Borderlands 2, which also happens to be ahmaaahzinggg so of course there was a time when I considered it as the best FPS game ever. I’ve never been much of a gamer when I was younger (I considered gaming as a type of drug; I totally get the appeal and I knew I could get addicted to it given the chance, as seen in the hours I spent playing Civilization 4, Battle Realms and The Sims), so Borderlands 2 was a life-changer. Like, who would’ve thought that games can be violent, witty AND so damn hilarious? (Those 3 are the factors I consider when it comes to entertainment)

“Look into my eyes when I stare at you!” *a few seconds later* “STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!” – the Psycho Bandit, aka Borderlands’ Most Timmeh Character

Why I love Borderlands 2 so much (…that I actually spent hours making myself look like the Psycho Bandit):

The weapons liiiike holy sh*ttttt the weapons. You’d think that their trailer is obnoxious by claiming to have 84 BAZILLION GUNS, but it’s easy to believe that claim once you start playing. See, there are over 17,750,000 different variations of weapons in Borderlands, so it’s safe to assume that Borderlands 2 has a whooole lot more. Guns that you can throw like grenades once your ammo runs out? Shotguns that leave heart-shaped patterns, perfect for sadistic b*tches? Guns that offer different elemental damages (fire, shock, explosive, & corrosive) and rare guns that are color-coded (aka the only time I’d choose the color orange over green)? Borderlands 2 is every triggerhappy bastard’s dream come true. It also made me less judgmental as a person, since after playing it, I finally understood why people would spend 30+ hours farming for weapons in a game they’ve already finished while disregarding their personal hygiene in the process (e.g. erasing their month-old cracked pedicure or Veet-ing the Amazon forest that is their leg hair). NOT that I know someone who’s done that, of course.
The story. If Mad Max and Riddick had unprotected sexy times which resulted to a baby, and that baby developed a sexy pair of feet, and that baby’s sexy feet inspired Tarantino to create a movie, and that movie was exploited to oblivion which later resulted to a video game, Borderlands 2 would be it. Sure, the main story is meh (though there are some onion-chopping parts) and some of its side missions are cliché af (e.g. bodyguarding useless NPCs, going on pointless Fedex errands, etc.)…but it’s supposed to be a no-brainer. And the violence, the gore and the humor of this no-brainer are enough to keep me feeling satisfied and light-hearted every time I play it. Besides, Borderlands 2’s biggest strength are…
The characters. Borderlands 2 is very character-driven. I’m really impressed with how they wrote the dialogue, how they created the characters’ personalities, and how the voice actors brought those characters to life. I can’t remember another game that made me: laugh (from the Psycho Bandit’s very random war cries, Tiny Tina’s dark sense of humor, to discovering the name of Handsome Jack’s diamond pony), feel like I’m smart (after noticing how the Psycho was reciting a soliloquy from Hamlet), and even cry (Bastaaaa.)
The easter eggs. As a nosy and picky person, I can be overly-critical when it comes to the small details…so I was happy to discover that my two of my negative traits in real life paid off with the easter eggs in Borderlands 2: Moxxi’s dirty photos, Roland’s Facebook at the HQ, Minecraft Creepers and the TMNJT gang. Oh and they also made a rare item-giving NPC after a late Borderlands fan that you can encounter in Sanctuary so awww the feelz…
The multiplayer option. I like how you can play Borderlands 2 with 3 of your friends online, or in a Mountain Dew-fueled LAN party in your basement. I can honestly say that it’s a good bonding experience—so good that you might end up playing it for 6 straight hours after a long day at work, disregarding the fact that you have an out-of-town trip with your friends at 6 in the morning. My friends thought that I was a selfless candidate for the Outstanding Gerlpren of 2013 Award, when the truth is, I was equally addicted…because you know, not even a bouquet of flowers can give you the happiness you feel when your co-player allows you to have the orange loot you both had your eyes on. So yeah, play Borderlands 2 if you want a fun experience. But if you want to plant the seed that will later end your relationship, play Portal 2 instead (“I know I knooow stop telling me what to do I just have laggy 3^rd world internet! F*ck!!!!!!”). Pramis.

As of December 31, 2016, you can purchase Borderlands 2 for only Php124.98 at Steam. 🙂

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Makeup, Ramblings

My 2016 Christmas Card

December 25, 2016 No Comments

I have to admit, I never really liked-liked Christmas.

In fact I’d always pick Halloween over Christmas, because at least that’s a holiday that doesn’t remind me of my long distance relationships with my loved ones and the untimely losses that happened during the Christmas season.

View post on imgur.com

But of course as I grew up, I learned how to cope with Christmas without being too angsty. I learned how to be happy for other people. I’m not THAT selfish you know, medyo lang. Besides, the season DOES offer lots of distractions and bonuses, so I can’t really complain.

I’m not a huge fan of the traditional Filipino Christmas that if I had to choose, Christmas 2013 is still the best one so far, since I got to embrace my inner Grinch by spending it in Ho Chi Minh City. It was intimate, it was laidback, I got to inhale an entire plate of baby back ribs before over-indulging in Red Saigons out on the sidewalk, giggling and people-watching.

The Christmases that followed weren’t as delightful. But I knew better than being the Sad Bridget;

I chose to be the Fun Bridget (aka that chick from Reddit who’s famous for her hilarious Christmas cards) for sh*ts and giggles.

Exhibit A:

Christmas 2014

Christmas 2015

Christmas 2016

This year is different.

I’m no longer taking the Fun Bridget route.

First because that’s not me anymore.

Second because I can never beat Fun Bridget, and it makes me feel guilty if people think I’m THAT hilarious medyo lang since I’m clearly just copying her Christmas card antics.

Third because I’d like to think that I are serious person now.

And serious people know better than waste their time doing sad-funny photo-ops.

Serious people spend their time doing what they love.

So,

as a serious person,

I’m seriously wishing

you

and

your family

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