Makeup

For Zsaris: Alangan-inspired Makeup Look

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(Warning: Long-ass post ahead since this is about Charet AND the makeup look inspired by her song. What can I say, I’m a grateful fan, for she encouraged me to finally invest time pursuing the things that make me happy)

It’s easy for me to write about myself since I’ve had enough practice, thanks to my 4th grade diaries filled with fantasies about Nick Carter and Tuxedo Mask. But when it involves writing about someone I care about, I feel lost for words. I’ve done this makeup look more than a month ago, but I’ve been delaying the writing part since it’s supposed to be a #FanAhrt for my rakstar friend, Zsaris (aka “Charet” for Elbi pips). But I’m running out of time since I already have a few materials set to be posted so screw it, I’ll try my best and just hope Charet would forgive me for my TMI ramblings.

 

Why Charet

Charet is special because she’s talented, perky, smart, perky, charismatic, AND DID I SAY PERKY? To be honest I never thought that she’d be my friend, since I’m an introvert and she got me in trouble on the day that we first met (by chatting me up in the middle of our entrance exam at the Hogwarts-like exclusive art school up in Mt. Makiling). We were high school freshmen when we met for the second time…and I still didn’t feel comfortable being around her perky self. How could I, when she served as the choreographer of our entire class who forced us to dance to S Club 7’s Bring It All Back for our mandatory Acquaintance Party performance?! (Diyos na mahabagin salamat po’t wala pang smartphones noon Lord God tenkyuuu)

Then I realized what a good friend Charet is when she started playing football for our high school Intramurals. Yes she’s perky pero hindi sya nakakapagod kasama na tipong ang sarap nang sipain sa mukha.

Then we took up the same course in UPLB (where she later graduated with honors!)

Then I found myself tagging along to their band practices so she can teach me how to play the drums. And as a true friend (who just discovered the wonders of Adobe Photoshop), I shamelessly attended one of their gigs carrying a reaaaally “cool” band poster (using Cocaine Sans for the font style of course!!!) that probably made others think “F.A.T. (Friday At Tristan’s)” was the dollar bin Linkin Park of UPLB. #EdgyEvahSince

Then she became my recruit for our college writing org.

So yeah, that’s the Charet that I know—she can dance, she can excel academically, she can play various instruments, she can play sports, she can write…she just can. The fact that we can still call her “Charet” even when her fellow artists and her fans know her as “Z” or “Zsaris”, is what makes everyone I know shamelessly flaunt the #CharetPride even more. She’s still as sweet and as Elbi as a heart-shaped Mernel’s chocolate cake (one without the yema filling para hindi nakakasuya but to each his own). We may not have played major roles in her triumphs, but we’ve been her fans even in her struggling years, for she’s “Do What You Love And Success Will Follow” personified. No Pinterest board filled with hundreds of overly-filtered inspirational crap will ever come close. 

Taga-sindi ko rakstar. Well.

So it wasn’t surprising for us to finally see Charet bulldoze her way to the success she rightfully deserves—from winning the 2015 Mossimo Music Summit as a one-woman band, proving to everyone that she’s the gold-winning, looping queen in an international contest, being a part of the award-winning a capella group Pinopela that starred in a Christmas ad, to releasing her own album.

 

Why This Makeup Look

Last November, Charet released her original song Alangan on Spotify. Being the nosy friend, I just had to ask her what the song is all about.

So…it’s about someone stupid who realized how much he/she has screwed up after all?

Stupid, screwed up…my three favorite words. Save me a seat because DIS GON B EASY.

Of course I had to press her further since it’s her song and I wanted to, you know, make sure that I can give justice to it by enhancing or fake-mutilating my face with makeup properly.

I guess I can compare the feeling to something as mild as how this loser feels?

As much as I’d love to do something gruesome for my Alangan makeup look, I don’t have the right sfx makeup skills (and materials) for the job. And I’m not gonna shoot my head #ForAhrtsSake or for my love for Charet…

♫ Ngayon ko lang naramdaman, Bakit ngayon lang? Ganito pala ang pakiramdam ♫

…so I went with a look that makes me appear “as if” I’m a stone-cold b*tch with a hard facade, but the truth is, there’s a warm-blooded, sensitive and feelz-feeling girl inside. Yak.

 

What I did:

  1. Start with a clean face. Don’t take Charet’s song seriously during the entire process because tears will not work well with your water-activated facepaint (like Snazaroo).
  2. Choose which facial feature to use for the Wuss Sensitive You. I chose to leave my left eye facepaint-free to signify that I’ve started seeing the truth that I’m not always right (Bullsh*t lol I just struggle when it comes to sticking a lens up my left eye). Trace an outline using NYX Retractable White Liner so you can easily avoid facepainting this area.
  3. Accept that life is full of grey areas because you’re not Michael Jackson, so embrace the grey and cover the rest of your b*tch face with grey facepaint.
  4. Use a big fluffy brush and dip it into a metallic grey eyeshadow that’ll serve as your setting powder for the areas of your b*tch face, like bareMinerals Mineral Eyeshadow in 1980’s.
  5. Embrace your ilusyonada ways by creating the illusion of sharper cheekbones and a more prominent nose bridge by contouring with a matte black eyeshadow like Urban Decay’s Blackout. This way your face won’t look as flat as your heart after you had those foolish feelings huhubelz.
  6. Nobody likes a flawless b*tch, so since your shiny grey skin can give Venus de Milo a run for her money, be like The Narrator and wreck it up by using a black liquid eyeliner for the cracks. In this case I used black facepaint so it’ll be easier for me to erase mistakes.
  7. Make the cracks look more realistic by adding highlights along the sides using a thin brush dipped in white facepaint. You can even give your face a more “concrete” texture by lightly spraying your face with an old toothbrush dipped in diluted white facepaint for the white specks.
  8. For your right eye, you can use the same matte black eyeshadow you used for contouring to fill in your right eyebrow, and dab a shimmery grey-brown eyeshadow (like Urban Decay’s Mushroom) on your crease and lower lashline.
  9. For your left eye, fill in your left eyebrow with K-Palette Tattoo Real Lasting Eyebrow Liner in 01-Natural Brown, and create a brown-green smokey eye using: a shimmery cream eyeshadow (like Lorac Pro’s Nude) along your browbone, matte brown eyeshadows (like Lorac Pro’s Taupe & Sable) for the transition color along your crease and lower lashline, and a bright green eyeshadow (like Urban Decay Lightyears over Urban Decay Indo) on your lid.
  10. Tightline both eyes with Nyx Retractable Black Liner. At this point I was starting to get tired. I obviously did a horrible blending job on my left eye makeup soo I just settled on drawing two different eyeliner wing shapes weh di mo lang napantay (done with my Benefit They’re Real Push-up Liner) and wearing a grey contact lens on my right eye to emphasize the contrast between Sensitive Me and B*tch Me. 5/6 of my entire face is covered in a mixture of gray facepaint and silver eyeshadow—what more do you want from me?! Oo na ako na yung walang follow through ako na lang lagiii anong gusto mo umiyak ako ng dugo?
  11. Umiyak ka ng dugo by letting fake blood drip down your left eye.
  12. Have fun with your makeup look while you can because clean-up’s gonna be a b*tch. Make sure you don’t leave silver stains on your bathroom fixtures that’ll make your housemates assume you finally invited a guest but you were too scared for proper introductions because it’s the creepy, panhandling mime from the mall.
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Nails

My Christmas Nails

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For those who have seen my Christmas nails four years ago, this is going to feel like a throwback, because this is how I designed my nails then. But since I DID say that this blog is going to feature some of my nail art designs, I’ve decided to just do it again. I know I’m more into makeup now, but I couldn’t just let this ridiculous haul of 2012 buyer’s remorse go to waste now, could I? 

 

So yeah I used to have an intense nail art addiction because I was an inggeterang lurker of /r/redditlaqueristas. It even came to a point when I had to create a Google Sheets file to better catalogue my nail polish collection–that level of cray. But that had to stop because I ran out of THE holy grail that is Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat (which, unfortunately, isn’t available in local department stores). Without it (and its ability to set and dry your nail color in less than a minute), then even the simple act of painting my nails becomes such a boring chore…

…and doing nail art is absolutely out of the question. I don’t want to risk getting UTI just because I don’t want to destroy my wet nails while unbuttoning my jeans during peepee time yo.

 

So these are the things I used:

 

(L-R) Seche Vite Base Coat, Revlon’s Posh, Revlon’s Sassy, Caronia’s Chasse, Revlon’s Radiance, a beauty sponge, Orly’s Luxe, Sinful Colors’ Gogo Girl, an unnamed, cream-colored Elf nail polish, China Glaze’s White on White, Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat, decorative green and red nail tapes, acrylic paint set (for the details), dotting tools and nail gems.

 

  1. Prep your nails with Seche Vite Base Coat, before applying the base colors: a light green color like Revlon’s Sassy for the thumbnail, A thin coat of blue like Caronia’s Chasse (and then applying a glittery polish like Revlon’s Radiance over it with a sponge) for the index finger nail, a metallic gold color like Orly’s Luxe for the middle finger nail, a cream color for the ring finger nail and white like China Glaze’s White on White for the pinky nail.
  2. Use a bit of painter’s tape to trace the outline of the Christmas tree on your thumb nail, and Santa’s red hat on your ring finger. Your pinky’s candy cane nail design is done with just a bit of carefully-placed metallic red and green nail tapes hehhh
  3. Apply a layer of green nail polish like Revlon’s Posh on your thumbnail and a layer of red nail polish like Sinful Colors’ Gogo Girl on your ring finger nail.
  4. Using dotting tools (or toothpicks), add the details using your white nail polish and different colors of acrylic paint (because acrylic paint is a looot more pigmented for small details PLUS it’s water-based). For the thumb nail: the red, yellow and blue acrylic paints for the Christmas light dots. Set a small nail gem at the tip of your Xmas tree using a clear nail polish. For the index finger: black acrylic paint for the snowman’s hat, eyes and arms and orange acrylic paint for the snowman’s nose applied over two blobs of white nail polish for the snowman’s body. For the middle finger nail: streaks of green acrylic paint for the mistletoe leaves and dots of red acrylic paint for the berries. For the ring finger: two messy-looking strips of white acrylic paint for santa’s hair and beard, black acrylic paint for Santa’s eyes, and pink acrylic paint for Santa’s mouth.
  5. Carefully apply a generous layer of Seche Vite Dry Fast Topcoat over each nail. Feel confident with the idea that you can pick your nose soon because your top coat will dry and set your nails pronto.
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Makeup

Bullet In The Temperamental Brat’s Head makeup

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I was planning to update this blog with a new material every 7 days so I won’t have to worry about running out of content. But I’m posting this now anyway, 4 days after my last post, since it’s uso naman to make an exception for every rule. Kung hindi ngayon, kailan pa?

As I’ve mentioned before, I learn my makeup looks from Youtube tutorials. But I feel inspired to ACTUALLY try a makeup look while I’m listening to music—like, a certain line comes up and yun, instant moment of eureka! (e.g. ♫…wasak na naman sa pag-ibig, wasak na wasak…♫ “AHH…!! Kunwari kaya basagin ko mukha ko parang yung sa Youtube?”)

Eh for the past few days, I found myself listening to Rage Against the Machine. And people who know me well are aware that I gravitate towards RATM (and AC/DC) whenever I’m just a few buttons away from exploding into a teary-eyed, passive-aggressive, heavy-breathing, stuttering mess. I guess there’s just something comforting about mouthing the words to Highway To Hell or Bullet In The Head…and for an onlooker who can see me raging mutely with my earphones, I’d look like a formidable freak…

…kinda like how the slow loris would bathe itself with a mixture of saliva and the toxin released from its armpits as a signal to keep its enemies away OR ELSE.
…kinda like how the slow loris would bathe itself with a mixture of saliva and the toxin released from its armpits as a signal to keep its enemies away OR ELSE.

But I digress. Long story short, I’ve been angry for the past few days so I’ve been listening to RATM and one song inspired me to do this makeup look. I won’t discuss it (…and its meaning and how it’s relevant nowadays) any further because this is supposed to be my makeup blog and I don’t want to taint it with my anger. At least, I’ll really, really try!

Here’s what I did to create the Bullet in the Head look:

#TheySayJumpYouSayHowHigh
#TheySayMoveOnYouSayOkay
  1. To create the shape of the bullet hole, roll a bit of paper twine (or twisted tissue paper) around your Sharpie. Secure the ends together with glue. Feel ashamed for wondering whether the people who make those cardboard signs for murdered drug users (aka Mga Nanlaban) are Team Pentel or Team Sharpie. Di ka na nga maka-move on, morbid ka pa. Giiirl.
  2. Realize you can’t apply your liquid foundation yet, since you’ll need a clean face for the bullet hole to adhere to your skin completely. So while waiting for your paper mache’d bullet hole ring to dry, you can start filling in your eyebrows with a brow mascara (Nichido Tinted Brow Gel in Ash Blonde). You can further sharpen and define its shape with an eyebrow pen (K-Palette Tattoo Real Lasting Eyebrow Liner in 01-Natural Brown).
  3. I didn’t want to go overboard with the eye makeup or else I’ll run out of damns to give for the bullet hole effect later. So after rubbing a bit of eyeshadow primer (Lorac Behind The Scenes Eye Primer) on my lids, I went with a simple smokey eye makeup using three colors from my Lorac Pro Palette: Nude for the browbone and the inner eye corner, Taupe on my lids, and Espresso for the crease and along my lower lash line.
  4. I wanted my eyes to mirror the souls of those forcing me to forgive and forget SO I generously lined my upper and lower waterlines with NYX Retractable Black Liner, winged dem eyes with K-Palette Real Lasting Black Eyeliner, and thickened my lashes until kasing kapal na sila ng mukha ng mga with Benefit They’re Real Tinted Primer & Benefit Roller Lash Mascara.
  5. By this time the bullet hole has dried up into a perfect circle, so you can now stick it to your forehead using the sturdiest eyelash glue in your stash (for me it’s Nichido Eyelash Adhesive). Place it where an actual bullet would’ve entered your head if your smart-ass self happened to be born in a different decade. Secure the hole by covering it with small bits of tissue (drenched in Elmer’s Glue) .
  6. Then hit the books. Lie on your bed with a heavy book weighing the paper mache’d bullet hole ring down to your forehead, and think about how lucky you are to be alive.
  7. Once the bullet hole ring is stuck perfectly to your forehead, you can now cover your entire face with liquid foundation (like L’Oreal Infallible Liquid Foundation), adding more coverage to the bullet hole so it can look like real skin. The good thing about doing your eye makeup prior to your foundation application is you can easily clean up the eyeshadow fallout on your cheeks.
  8. Add the details by dabbing brown and red eyeshadow around the hole for a slight bruising effect, coloring its inside with a black eyeliner to give it depth and filling the hole with fake blood until it drips down your face.
  9. Finish your look by using a metallic copper brown lipstick on your lips (like Urban Decay Lipstick in Conspiracy haha) to make them so irresistible, kisses will be plundered.
  10. Take a selfie, you temperamental brat. #3edgy5u
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Makeup

Reptilian Beach Barbie makeup

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With all of the conspiracy theories infecting the average Filipino’s Facebook newsfeed for the past few months, I just needed to take a break and recall my favorite conspiracy theory: The Reptilians, which was popularized by British conspiracy theorist, David Icke. Basically, he claims that the world’s most powerful people are shape-shifting reptilian aliens who want to control the world and enslave us all.

At first I wondered, what the hell is this Brit mixing with his tea and will it show up in a urine test? Wala lang, a friend wants to know. But then I started to like it. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Those cold-blooded freaks probably want to avenge their cousins that are being exploited to satisfy the designer bag addiction of their human subordinates. The fact that we have our own urban legend about a mall tycoon’s supposedly reptilian son just makes it even more amusing to me. Talagang ‘di tayo nagpahuli!

So since I’ve developed a passion for using makeup to become something I’m not (gee that statement sounds so pitiful), I decided to try my hand at looking like a powerful, rich, cold-blooded reptilian Beach Barbie.

My attempt to look like a Reptilian Beach Barbie. Pwede ding “The Other Woman After A Humid Day Of Checking Out All The Husbands On The Beach”
My “Reptilian Beach Barbie” look…

It’s basically the similar process as jessFACE90’s Lizard makeup look, but I had to use Elmer’s Glue instead of liquid latex. It’s not as strong, but hey it’s not like I’m going wear that on my face for hours. (“Magtiyaga ka sa glue, ang tamad mo maghanap ng liquid latex e!” -me to myself) It doesn’t give you a very natural-looking effect either. But what do you expect from a type of children’s glue? Just be glad your photo won’t be blown up into billboard proportions soo you can still get away with Elmer’s Glue imperfections.

So these are the things I did to get this look. If you’re smart, you won’t follow every bit by heart:

  1. Find your favorite pair of sunglasses AKA the cheap one that doesn’t fall due to your nose bridge shortage. Stop obsessing about the unused pairs of fancy sunglasses you’ve received from your mother na hindi mo nga magamit kasi nahuhulog lang sila sa sahig and just get to work.
  2. Trace the rough outline of its frame using NYX Retractacle White Liner. Any color would probably work since you’re gonna cover the lines with tissue and glue anyway; I was just paranoid that they’d be visible if I chose a darker color.
  3. Slather Elmer’s Glue on the outline, before sticking thin strips of tissue on it. I think I did this twice to make sure the tissue (fake human skin) would be strong enough once I peel the “ripped” end later.
  4. Let that dry and do your foundation routine on the rest of your face. Mine’s using L’Oreal Infallible Liquid Foundation with a damp sponge and adding more coverage where it’s needed (read: your God-given period zits) by applying bareMinerals Mineral Foundation with a brush.
  5. I wasn’t sure if it was going to show (because I’m just using my 2-year-old smartphone to take my selfies) but I added a bit of bareMinerals Face Color in Luxe Radiance on my cheeks since I’m supposed to be a girly reptilian nightmare.
  6. Once the paper mache’d freak show of fake human skin around your eyes is dry, apply your liquid foundation and concealer all over it so it’d have the same shade as your real skin.
  7. Create the ripped effect by gently peeling the inner edge of your fake human skin and bending it outwards. This is why I traced the rough outline with an eyeliner—so you can stop peeling once you see your outline, making it easier for you to get that oops-I-ripped-my-fake-human-skin-because-my-sunglasses-are-that-lit effect.
  8. Fill out your snake skin with green face paint. I had to mix my green and black facepaint from my Snazaroo Facepaint Kit because I wanted it to be as green and as dark as my mind. Once I was happy, I applied that color all over the area with a wet brush. I also used the green shades from my Coastal Scents Creative Me 1 palette and Urban Decay Grafitti Eyeshadow as my setting powder and to add more greenness na din.
  9. Put fishnet stockings over your head as if you’re a desperate idiot who wants to do a prepaid card heist at 7-11 because you’re so sick of your Free Data Mode (“Nagload pa ako’t gumamit ng data, tapos hugot quote lang pala yung picture na inupload nya sa Efbee!!! Ba’t kasi nauso yung pictures ng quotes, di na lang i-status update?!”-desperate idiot turned bitter idiot) You’ll have to fill the holes of your fishnet stockings with a different color for the scales, so it’s reaaally important for you to hold it in place throughout this step. Stop yourself from hahahuhu-ing at how pathetic you look with your never-been-used fishnet stockings over your head—the same pair of stockings your very supportive mother has sent you in hopes that it can do its kinky wonders to your “quest in finding a good man”. Once you’ve gotten your sh*t together, carefully dab a brush full of gold eyeshadow (Gold from Lorac Pro 1 or Urban Decay in Honey) on top of the fishnet stockings covering your green reptilian skin.
  10. Remove your fishnet stockings carefully and throw it into your dirty laundry basket so you can give your laundrywoman something to talk about. Paint the inner side and the edges of your ripped human skin with fake blood, and the outer side with purple and brown eyeshadow for some bruising effect.
  11. Tightline your eyes with NYX Retractable Black Liner. Wing your eyes with K-Palette Real Lasting Black Eyeliner. Finish your eye makeup look by adding length and volume to your lashes with your favorite Benefit Roller Lash Mascara. Remind yourself that you’re not yet done with your Reptilian Beach Barbie look so you better stop admiring your fabulous lashes (AKA blinking slowly in front of your mirror as if you’re a narcissistic goat-snake hybrid).
  12. Use Urban Decay Big Bang Lipstick for that glittery girly pink lips. You realized you’re not happy with its shimmer, so you gently dab a finger full of eyeshadow that screams PINK GLITTERS from your Urban Decay Moondust palette all over your lips.
  13. Shake your hair until it looks like it’s full of secrets and wear giant hoop earrings just so you can look like the “liberated” hacienderang maldita of any teleserye/fantaserye. Wear your sunglasses as a useless headband just in case people don’t get why your ripped human skin is shaped that way.
  14. …pwede ring: “The Other Woman After A Humid Day Of Checking Out All The Husbands On The Beach” look.

    Feel sad that you don’t have actual snake-eye contact lenses to complete the look. Stop feeling sad when you remember that you can add fake contact lenses to your photo using the selfie app you loved to use para pagtripan ang pagmumukha ng mga kaibigan mo. Finally, use that post-processed selfie in your Instagram and hope that it’s good enough so people would want to learn more, click that link in your bio and discover your newborn blog site.

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Ramblings

And so it begins: My not-really-beauty, beauty blog!

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If I get a peso every time a classmate, a friend, a relative, a colleague or even a client asks me, “Bakit hindi ka nagba-blog (Why aren’t you blogging)?!”, I’d have enough money to top up my Beep card for a year’s worth of MRT rides. (And who wouldn’t want to ride for free in the MRT? That’s such a good consolation for a wonderful, stress-free, well-ventilated journey)

See, I’ve been the receiving end of that question ever since my nail art addiction started in 2012. Now, four years after (and with a new addiction), I finally wondered, “Yeah, why the hell am I not blogging?”

For the past few years, I’ve gotten used to giving them my usual response. Smile + noncommittal shrug + “Wala akong time e (Ain’t nobody got time fo dat)!”

THAT is a lie.

The truth is, I’m just paranoid of leaving digital footprints behind. Why rock the boat, when life has been sweet ever since the downfalls of Friendster and Multiply gave me a clean slate? I’ve been on the internet long enough to know that people like me (aka those with keyboard warrior alter egos) can get screwed for being so damn noisy and nosy. Besides, taking centre stage doesn’t sit well for someone who suffers from social anxiety in real life; do a background check and you’ll discover that I thrive for backstage/BTS work even in college. In short, by not keeping a blog, I’ve gotten away, scot-free, from people coming across the digital skidmarks of my younger self, who was a socially-awkward, crazy-eyed, temperamental weirdo.

But then I’ve realized that I’m just getting older. I’m STILL that socially-awkward, crazy-eyed temperamental weirdo.

So screw it. Welcome to my makeup-and-nail-art blog.

(I can simply use “beauty blog” but I can’t promise that everything you’ll find here will be beautiful.)

I’m done being paranoid about my digital footprints, thanks to the people who encouraged me to start this not-really-beauty beauty blog. Maybe they’re just sick of seeing me flood their Facebook newsfeed with my Instagram selfies. Maybe they just feel bad for me for not reaping the benefits my materials could be getting. Or maybe they’re sadistic misanthropes who want the entire interwebs to feel the annoyance they feel when they see photos of my heavily made-up face. The bottom line is, with all those people pushing me (Special shout-out to the hunky Gus Villa who showed me how to set this up, to the multi-talented Keith Magnaye for my super cute logo, and to the Redditor who illustrated my avatar years ago), I no longer have an excuse to put this off. Plus, it’s not as if I’m getting any younger, so while my face/canvas hasn’t lost its elasticity:

(But if this fails, I can wash my hands and say, SABI NILA MAG-BLOG AKO E. Perfect. Thanks guys.)

Expect this blog to serve as the official digital dumpster for my makeup and nail-art creations, like the ones I’ve done through the years:

(Zoom in if you Chang but I deliberately shrunk these images or else I’ll have nothing left to feature in the coming days)

Hopefully I can also create videos and product reviews (assuming I’ll receive stuff to review *cough cough*). I’m doing this not so I can be famous; I’m doing this for the freebies my love for makeup, and fine, freebies. But before you judge me, consider these: a) Creative makeup is a very costly hobby, and b) Unless I worked for it then I don’t feel comfortable receiving something from people I’m not related to (Got trust issues liek dat). So should you decide to send me something, you bet your ass I will rave (or rant) about it. Quid pro quo*. Magmamalinis pa ba ako?!

And of course, I want this blog to serve as a testament to the skills I’m currently acquiring from the University of Youtube—skills that might be helpful to my fellow makeup junkies.

I, thank you. *awkward aura*

*I know that sounds smart but I totally learned that Latin phrase from Prison Break.

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